First Step, Hard Day

So, rather than starting over, counting days, and blowing it again...and go through the same routine of not even getting a week...I decided that I needed to tell my husband and daughter things were still bad...and I was still gambling.  Before I got up enough nerve to do it, I somehow convinced myself to be stupid again and went and played.  Even after telling myself last night I wouldn't.  I told my husband over the phone this afternoon, while he is out of town.  I had tried to tell him yesterday face to face, but I couldn't get up the nerve to do it.  I asked that when he returns home on Friday, he take my ATM cards/checkbooks...any access to cash.  He is furious with me.  He thought that we both had given it up, and is furious I was keeping the fact I was still playing from him.  In the meantime, my daughter has hidden those cash access items in the house and I'm so not even tempted to find them.  I have really hurt my family.  My husband says it feels like I have cheated on him...and I deserve for him to be mad at me.  Losing money sucks...but losing my husband's trust is just heart breaking...I feel like crap, and I pray now that he is able to forgive me.  As of right now, I have no urge to go gamble.  I have every urge to earn back my family's trust, and there is no reason to try to go win back anything, and hide the fact that I have been playing still...because now they know.  I have no doubt in my mind that tomorrow is going to be a very successful Day #1....and everyday from there.  I won't feel any success until I have my family's trust back.