First round of venting

I was laying in bed and having a hard time, especially with this headache getting worse and worse so I decided to come on the computer. I have to say I am glad I found this website as I see good things coming from it, hopefully. Just to vent right now I am feeling awful. When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, it's been a battle. I have had and lost insurance so many times that it's been a struggle just to get help. I started having severe sinus problems when I was 19 years old. I used to be a smoker, I used to drink and I also did smoke marijuana but have been clear of all of that for some time now as my health is way more important to me than anything. I went to this clinic that was local to me a couple times recently but the dr was kind of, weird. It also cost money that I cant afford to pay anymore and didn't have the resources I needed. My main concern lately has been my tailbone and my spine hurting, sometimes my heart pounds so hard it feels like my whole body is throbbing and it will wake me up at night, it is awful. I have such a huge variety of symptoms and I don't know what is what. When I went to this other clinic, that was extremely hard to get to transportation wise, last Monday, it was a long day. I got there at 630am and there was already a huge line. No one would tell me what time to come so I came an hour before opening. Anyways, after waiting until 1pm to be seen,I finally saw the dr. I had a list of my symptoms because I get overwhelmed and thought it'd  be easier to just read them off than answer questions as my anxiety sometimes makes it hard to speak and think clearly, I get all jumbled. When I told him about the list he said "no, no. what is the worst thing going on?" I had a flash back to the e.r. where they only wanna know exactly whats wrong right that second and I thought why is this happening at the dr's. I proceeded to tell him everything was important and that it was all related. He said he can't be doing no list and referred to my list as a "grocery list". Wow, thanks for minimizing the importance of my life in comparison to grocery shopping. Then again he said no just pick one. Then he asked if I was on any medication, I started to explain what they were for and then he asked what the vistaril was for. I started to say "Well I went to this clinic.." trying to explain that I went to the clinic and was just put on it and that it was helping some but not enough. He interrupted and said "no, whats it for?" I said.. "Well I went to this clinic" and he interrupted again to say "what's it for??" I was like "that is what I am trying to tell you" and he said "well what's it for? its not for clinic". At this point I just leaned forward and as I started to cry I just blurted out Anxiety. I literally was having a panic attack just because of his rude persistance of not letting me talk. He continued jotting a couple things down and then said, "I can see you're on edge." I didn't say anything, I just sat there thinking "seriously?" It was an awful day, I was there in total for 10 hours. He ended up doing spinal x-rays and a rhuematoid arthritis blood test. I had just had my blood taken a week before and I don't know if thats why but this time it bruised really bad. I guess it clotted or something? Because the nurse at my school said to apply heat to get the blood flowing again because come Tuesday I am getting more blood tests done for my throid, to check my hemoglobin and also re check one other thing that came out 0 on the previous blood test ( I thought it was just from a nasal steroid so she's re checking). Thankfully when I went to my first chiro appointment on Wednesday I had better treatment and he actually cared and he is actually the one who recommended getting checked for diabetes which is why I went back Friday and again luckily the RN there was real thorough and nice. My blood finger prick test was 116 after fasting for a little over 12 hours. She said she will be monitoring my blood pressure for the next three weeks as well due to it being slightly high that time and the time before. I have had high blood pressure at the dr's a lot, they have asked me before if I have high blood pressure but never diagnosed me. I guess that can happen when you're bouncing around from dr's or clinics and dont have a regular doc. Now my tailbone and spine are giving me a tiny break but my legs and arms are freaking me out with these pins and needles and the pains in them. The chiro mentioned something about diabetic nueropathy and I read up on it and it would make sense. I can remember since my teen years being extra dehydrated and also having to pee a lot. My lower right back started up when I was 17 with nerve pain, then about a year ago it started in my right shoulder blade and was causing nerve pain like sciatica does in my arm and leg and then was on the other side a little as well. When my tailbone pain started it started at the same time that I started having stomach problems, which is why I am on protonix now. My stomach started being mean to me when I would eat and I literally felt like my insides were swollen from my stomach all the way to the outside of my butt, the inside too. I had problems going to the bathroom and I had a hard time eating. It was insane. I have completely changed the way I eat since then, I wasn't completely strict with  myself until 3 days ago where all I have eaten now is vegetables and fish or chicken. I had an apple and some peaches too. Another problem I am having is my throat. When I was 17 I also noticed a lump in my neck, which over the years I have come to think it is a swollen lymph node possibly from the epstein barr virus that I am getting tested for soon but sometimes I wonder what this really is. I am having problems with my ears nose and throat and my throat has changed visually. The roof of my mouth has become white and there are some little bumps and stuff in my mouth that are new. The right side of my throat is also swollen with little pus bumps similar to those you get with strep throat. Sometimes it feels like my tongue is swelling up too. I have acid reflux I guess and maybe that has something to do with it? There are so many things wrong sometimes I think my head is going to explode trying to keep track of it all. That dr referring to my note as a grocery list made me never want to make a list again and made me feel stupider than I did before. Everythings been really hard this year. Last August my sister and her kids moved away, they were my neighbors and are my world. I have helped raise those kids since birth and lived with them a lot, up until one month before they moved which is when I decided to move right next door to them with my mother (which is not a good living situation but I won't get into that right now) and then they left. After that I fell apart emotionally and then my relationship began to fall apart. It was the end of November that it got really bad, I went to visit my family and got cheated on, lied to and played, in my own home. Then it completely ended and I was left alone the beginning of December. Since then I had gone out with friends here and there but it was always to the club and I noticed after a few bad experiences that alcohol was a big no no. My friends didn't understand and only go out to drink so I haven't even had their help or support. I had a great job at the Census Bureau which was hard but do-able and then everything started to get real bad. I lost my job, I lost my friends, my family, my relationship. I am grateful I was still able to keep my grades up since everything got the worst after last semester had ended. It's just really hard. And its especially hard because I am a really understanding person who wants to get into psychology so I have this side to me that can think clearly and try to help myself and tell myself what I would tell others but it is hard when I am the one going through all of this, I can't keep being my own support system, it is too hard and I am breaking down. I don't know how to ask for help and when I do reach out I am constantly being disregarded or just not taken serious enough I guess. I am positive and hopeful but at the same time I am so depressed and just exhausted. I just want to get better, I want to get help and take my life back. I don't want everything up until now to be for nothing I don't want to die if this is so serious. The sharp pains are all over, they're even in my eyes. I just wanna feel better