first entry
I am new to ds and hope this can help my recovery. My focus for this entry will be more towards my addiction. I started using when I was 19 with a now ex boyfriend. It did not take long for me to be hooked. I always thought I could stop at any time but it quickly took over my life. I have overdosed before and been in rehab a total of three times. I want that third to be the last. I am proud of myself for staying clean since january 18 but its very hard to adjust to not having the one thing that I relied on most. I no longer have any friends because I messed it up when on drugs or they are still users. I want to get better but I need more support than my sponsor and meetings which is why I am here. I know that I have been through a lot in my life but I want to be a success story and not the failure I have been for years now.
Replies
I want nothing more than to see a success story for you as well.
I started smoking weed the past two years, once I got out of the military. Whereas I don\'t think I am addicted (I go weeks, months without it) I know for a fact that I use it because it is the one thing that has helped my anxiety as well as my sleeplessness and depression. When I smoke I feel so free, so careless. I feel as though nothing matters.
This is not a good thing.
Using this to just forget everything is an immediate fix to a forever problem. Like you, I want to stay clean and not use anymore. I want to be able to address my problems instead of ignoring them for a few wonderful hours. I want to be me again.
This is a good first entry. It gives more insight to who you are and who you have been. Does that sound stupid? I worry too much that when I type things I come off differently that I would hope.
Anyway, this is a good idea. It makes me want to use my journal for all purposes instead of why I have been thus far.
Hang in there. I offer all the support a total stranger can, and I am genuine when I say I want you to beat this. Because only then can you kill the other demons.
Hugs to you,
Liz
Thank you for the support. I am hoping that by being on here that I can get where I want to go. What you said did not sound stupid at all. I figure I will use my journal as a way to tell people about me without freaking myself out. In my mind, nothing was better than when I was high which is not true anymore. I need to change that and hopefully I can. I hope you are doing ok as well.