First Day of September 2013
...and so a new month begins...
Here we are...the first day of the last quarter of another year. Time flies whether you are having fun or not, but so far, this has been a fun weekend for me.
On Friday evening, my friends from church -- Steve & Ken -- hosted a gathering at their house. They live not far from me here in east Naples. We met at the Unitarian church and it was the FIRST time attending for all of us, so we immediately felt a bond. Since then, we have become fast friends and have enjoyed getting to know one another.
Anyway, Steve is of Spanish descent and loves to entertain. He chose the date and the menu and invited about 9 other church members to come over on Friday evening. I made two trays of my almost famous Deviled Eggs and they disappeared almost immediately with the other appetizers. Main dish was homemade ENCHILADAS and I gotta tell you, they were THE BEST I have ever eaten. Steve also made a black bean salad and pineapple upside down cake for dessert. It was a great evening full of laughter and storytelling and I was so pleased to have been included. I just posted my pictures so when I write about these people, you will have an idea of who I am talking about.
I also just posted a bunch of pictures of the rest of my house! Still haven't taken one of the outside, but I'll get to that. I hope you can get a better idea of my new space from these. NOTE: I DO have a kitchen, but still have stuff piled up on one of the countertops that is needing to find a home. When I get that finished, I promise to post some more pictures.
This week was a little rough. Tom had called a week ago Friday and this time, instead of feeling ok about it, I got upset. Probably due to the fact that this past Thursday was the 6th anniversary of the day we met in person for the first time. That was such a magical time...and we had so much promise. All this week I have been on the fence -- feeling like I needed to just sit down, write him a letter and tell him to not contact me anymore. But I couldn't make myself do it. I would like to think that we can maintain a friendship, but it's apparent that I'm going to need a lot more time for my feelings to settle out. I struggle with the disappointment of it all, and while I own my share of the issues that came between us, it seems that Tom doesn't want to. He doesn't want to talk about what was -- yet he seems to be lonely. Why else would he call me so much -- sometimes just to chat about his day? So I have to decide if and when I will talk to him. I don't have to answer the phone and I don't have to respond to emails. It's up to me. Knowing I am better having LESS contact with him, I'm going to try to stick to that for awhile. But it's still difficult unless I make a concerted effort to keep myself occupied with other things.
I have been trying to get back to the pool at least an hour a day. I was getting so pale, I was starting to look like a "whitebody" again. Yuck. I'm not one to lay out in the sun, but I do like a little color. Lucky for me, I tan up pretty quick so it only took a few days to get that glow going again.
I'm still active with the Meetup group and enjoying that very much. And my church puts on a lot of social events, as well. One of those is called "First Friday" and is hosted by a different member on the first Friday of each month. This has been great fun and has given me the opportunity to visit some of the most gorgeous homes in Naples --places I otherwise would only see from the road (if that close). There is also a gallery showing of one of our member's photography this week, so that's another opportunity to get out and about.
Last week I also decided to sign up for OurTime.com. I was only going to do it for a month ($23.99) but then they offered a 3-month special for $53.97. I said "sure." The jury is still out on the results. I have been contacted by quite a few men in the Naples area, but categorically rejected a number of them (i.e., too old, golfers, motorcycle fanatics). And same as when I was on eHarmony 6 years ago, I swear some of these men are LYING ABOUT THEIR AGE. Anyway, right now I am communicating with two fellows -- one from Naples and another over in Miami Beach. Time will tell if there's enough interest to actually meet either of them in person. But in the meantime, I also met two new fellows who joined the Meetup group and know we are going to be friends. They are funny and very social people and neither of them are looking for a serious relationship right now. I'm not, either. But I do miss male companionship and I would LOVE to find a guy who likes to go fishing! So I'll keep you posted on how that goes.
Other than that, nothing much new. It's still pretty hot, but everyone says in the next few weeks it will start to cool down. That's a good thing. The days are getting shorter, but they will never be as short as up in Maryland. One reason is because Naples is almost to the next Time Zone and because we are closer to the Equator. All that sounds good to me.
I am still volunteering with the animal rescue group and volunteered for some extra days up at PetCo this month taking care of the adoptable cats and kittens., There are a couple up there right now who tug at my heart -- but I already have Jake & Woody and don't wish to become the Crazy Cat Lady of Naples.
So...that's it for now. Thank you to everyone who has sent private messages and emails. This is definitely a journey, but with your help, I'm making it through.
xoxo
Here we are...the first day of the last quarter of another year. Time flies whether you are having fun or not, but so far, this has been a fun weekend for me.
On Friday evening, my friends from church -- Steve & Ken -- hosted a gathering at their house. They live not far from me here in east Naples. We met at the Unitarian church and it was the FIRST time attending for all of us, so we immediately felt a bond. Since then, we have become fast friends and have enjoyed getting to know one another.
Anyway, Steve is of Spanish descent and loves to entertain. He chose the date and the menu and invited about 9 other church members to come over on Friday evening. I made two trays of my almost famous Deviled Eggs and they disappeared almost immediately with the other appetizers. Main dish was homemade ENCHILADAS and I gotta tell you, they were THE BEST I have ever eaten. Steve also made a black bean salad and pineapple upside down cake for dessert. It was a great evening full of laughter and storytelling and I was so pleased to have been included. I just posted my pictures so when I write about these people, you will have an idea of who I am talking about.
I also just posted a bunch of pictures of the rest of my house! Still haven't taken one of the outside, but I'll get to that. I hope you can get a better idea of my new space from these. NOTE: I DO have a kitchen, but still have stuff piled up on one of the countertops that is needing to find a home. When I get that finished, I promise to post some more pictures.
This week was a little rough. Tom had called a week ago Friday and this time, instead of feeling ok about it, I got upset. Probably due to the fact that this past Thursday was the 6th anniversary of the day we met in person for the first time. That was such a magical time...and we had so much promise. All this week I have been on the fence -- feeling like I needed to just sit down, write him a letter and tell him to not contact me anymore. But I couldn't make myself do it. I would like to think that we can maintain a friendship, but it's apparent that I'm going to need a lot more time for my feelings to settle out. I struggle with the disappointment of it all, and while I own my share of the issues that came between us, it seems that Tom doesn't want to. He doesn't want to talk about what was -- yet he seems to be lonely. Why else would he call me so much -- sometimes just to chat about his day? So I have to decide if and when I will talk to him. I don't have to answer the phone and I don't have to respond to emails. It's up to me. Knowing I am better having LESS contact with him, I'm going to try to stick to that for awhile. But it's still difficult unless I make a concerted effort to keep myself occupied with other things.
I have been trying to get back to the pool at least an hour a day. I was getting so pale, I was starting to look like a "whitebody" again. Yuck. I'm not one to lay out in the sun, but I do like a little color. Lucky for me, I tan up pretty quick so it only took a few days to get that glow going again.
I'm still active with the Meetup group and enjoying that very much. And my church puts on a lot of social events, as well. One of those is called "First Friday" and is hosted by a different member on the first Friday of each month. This has been great fun and has given me the opportunity to visit some of the most gorgeous homes in Naples --places I otherwise would only see from the road (if that close). There is also a gallery showing of one of our member's photography this week, so that's another opportunity to get out and about.
Last week I also decided to sign up for OurTime.com. I was only going to do it for a month ($23.99) but then they offered a 3-month special for $53.97. I said "sure." The jury is still out on the results. I have been contacted by quite a few men in the Naples area, but categorically rejected a number of them (i.e., too old, golfers, motorcycle fanatics). And same as when I was on eHarmony 6 years ago, I swear some of these men are LYING ABOUT THEIR AGE. Anyway, right now I am communicating with two fellows -- one from Naples and another over in Miami Beach. Time will tell if there's enough interest to actually meet either of them in person. But in the meantime, I also met two new fellows who joined the Meetup group and know we are going to be friends. They are funny and very social people and neither of them are looking for a serious relationship right now. I'm not, either. But I do miss male companionship and I would LOVE to find a guy who likes to go fishing! So I'll keep you posted on how that goes.
Other than that, nothing much new. It's still pretty hot, but everyone says in the next few weeks it will start to cool down. That's a good thing. The days are getting shorter, but they will never be as short as up in Maryland. One reason is because Naples is almost to the next Time Zone and because we are closer to the Equator. All that sounds good to me.
I am still volunteering with the animal rescue group and volunteered for some extra days up at PetCo this month taking care of the adoptable cats and kittens., There are a couple up there right now who tug at my heart -- but I already have Jake & Woody and don't wish to become the Crazy Cat Lady of Naples.
So...that's it for now. Thank you to everyone who has sent private messages and emails. This is definitely a journey, but with your help, I'm making it through.
xoxo
Replies
Life goes on, even if we don\'t want it to! You sound like you are doing much better, as long as keeping busy is not an escape. You friends Steve and Ken sound like a jewel for you there. You are choosing groups wisely as well AND doing things to get you you in public.. I am so happy for you! Hugs and love, Neesie
I agree with Nessie, you sound great. I have some meetup friends who belong to a Unitarian Church and they are always doing stuff.
Shouldn\'t be hard finding a fisherman in FL
I looked at the pictures. Your new home looks perfect for you.
Hey my friend, I just sent you a message to catch me up then thought I\'d check your journal and voila, here is your post. Nice to hear how busy and happy you are but missing the companionship that adds another dimension to our lives.
Nice to keep up with you. THink of you often!
Sounds like you are really have some good times. I agree with Misred--shouldn\'t be difficult to find a fisherman in FL. Perhaps go on one of those chartered fishing trips.
Hugs!!!
hugs my friend. You will be fine. Just follow your instinct and heart. One smart woman.
Well...Kathi...the response you had to my post pretty much sums it all up. I just spent 2 more years of my life on a man that rejected everything I stood for all in the name of trying to be friends...what a waist of my time...it got me nothing but heartache and disappointment.
You know how hard I tried...right from the beginning I rallied for finding that place to maintain friendship...that if I was truly over the failure of my marriage I should be able to do it...I call bullshit on myself...it has absolutely nothing to do with it and its taken me 4 years to figure that out. The bottom line..he is not worthy of a friend like me...he does not know how to own his own shit...he would rather sweep it under the carpet or blame someone else...I cant trust him with ME...he is not a man that says what he means and means what he says...that is unacceptable to me.
I\'m not writing this to take over your thread...I guess I\'m giving you that same loving kick in the butt you gave me many times over. You already know in your head you cant be friends otherwise the two of you would be together...I know you know this. The relationship came to an end for a reason and that reason has not changed. He is incapable of being the man you need him to be...thats ok...it just means he\'s not your guy...let him go...Big Hugs and lots of love...Kathy
Definitely I agree, you can\'t be friends with Tom. He doesn\'t want to do the emotional work and grow IMHO.