First Day
Today is my first day in quarantine. I'm at home with my mom. Been cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen. I have a big to do list.
We worry that my fiance will bring home the virus. He doesn't work with many people, but he is irresponsible and selfish. He goes to the liquor store whenever. He goes God knows where to get his drugs. I caught him with drugs again Wednesday.
I'm really depressed today. I don't like not working, it gives me too much time to think. I'm trying to stay busy but still been crying some. I really hate myself. I hate my fiance but I hate myself more. It's my fault I can't attract anyone better than him. I feel like I'm wasting my life. But I was wasting my life before so I guess it doesn't matter.
Replies
why are you engaged to this dude? it seems doomed to failure....drugs and drinking do not make responsible people....ask the pot calling the kettle black dude himself...LOL
dump him...move on....honestly you will pay the price in empty promises and lies if you do not....and also will remain unhappy for as long as you choose to keep him in your life....move up move on....you are worthy of much better and there are men out there....better bigger and probably better at loving a woman as fine as you....
Caught him with drugs? You appear to be a very nice woman. Why in the world are you engaged to him? As Bill said- DUMP HIM. Please run away from this inevitable disaster right now. You can attract someone much better.
I get that.............There are things I use to hate about myself also.....like......I have a nose as big as Mt Everest.....I have big feet,..I am a klutz on the dance floor....I can't swim....and the list goes on.!
It took me a very long time to realize that I'm not such a bad guy after all.. I mean....Others can tell you how much you are appreciated but you won't believe them if you don't already love yourself... It's really just accepting yourself the way you are and understanding that nobody is perfect, we all have things about ourselves we don't like, but that's ok! I love myself just the same.
If you have Faith that someone else loves you unconditionally...than that makes it a thousand times better! :)
God Bless!
You have so many positive things going for you and you have things you want to do with your life. Is it just the drugs you don’t like about your boyfriend? Maybe you could ramp up your kickboxing while you’re in quarantine.
Yes, you do have to be careful about him bringing the virus home to you, and to your mom. Think about your mom. Can he stay somewhere else for him to do a 14 day quarantine? This virus is serious stuff.
Drugs and drinking? You can do so much better than this guy. I remember your posts that you haven't been happy with him for awhile. You are a smart and caring girl, and you just need a self esteem boost! Have you ever tried therapy? Just wondering.
Maybe work on your beautiful crafts during this time?
First of all-the decision to maintain the relationship is yours. Not ours. You have to weigh it up. You obviously have some attraction to him. You get some pleasure from him. You have to decide whether you want to put up with his faults. You say you cant attract anybody? If you decide to terminate the relatonship then you will attract somebody else. Dating sites etc But You cant put yoursekf out there while engaged? As a person in a relationship-you wont give out the single vibe.
Life is about Pain vs pleasure. You have to decide if the pleasure you get from him outweighs the pain.
Ending a relationship is a big deal but often it leads to better things. You have to be prepared to take the risk. Nothing ventured-nothing gained
I just don't know how to get rid of him. He proposed to me when we were on vacation. I couldn't say no 11 hours away from home. How would we have driven home together? I have tried and tried and tried to break up with him. His family tells me I am not trying hard enough is why the relationship won't work. My family hates him. I have had to give up all my friends, hobbies, possible further schooling. I tell him all the time how unhappy I am and it falls on deaf ears. He says it isn't his problem and it's my fault I am unhappy.
I wish I could enjoy my time off work, but every project I get into, I am reminded how I have no free time, how I needed to do this stuff before but had to take care of him, waste money on him, etc. Every time I try to get rid of him, he flips out screaming and crying, threatens to kill himself, he has come at me with a knife, he says he will be homeless, no car, and lose his job. I stay with him out of guilt. He was supposed to live with me temporarily while he recovered from surgery, but that has turned into 3 years now. I was just trying to help him because he was at rock bottom with nowhere to turn. I didn't know at first that he had a drug problem. I had never been around anyone like that so I didn't know the signs. I feel so stupid now.
Most women I know hate their husbands, they say all men are the same, so I figured might as well stay with him as long as he has a job. It's nice being able to tell people I have a fiance, and he is tall. That way people don't see me as such a freak. Being single is so awful. When I was single I met up on blind dates and got date raped several times. I don't wanna go back to that. I don't like being asked all the time by nosey customers and other people why I'm not married, why I don't have kids, if im gay, etc etc. People are very rude and judgemental. I will be 30 this year, most people think that's too old to be dating and getting married or having kids. Alot of my female family is single too, and they don't seem very happy. We just have strong personality and too tall. Men aren't attracted to someone they feel they have to compete with.
I guess that's one thing attractive about my fiance, he isn't competitive, in fact he doesn't seem to care about anything, other than his drugs of course. He doesn't tell me to lose weight or get breast implants or get my ass waxed. My ex never shut up about how stupid and fat I was. I was skinny then.
I just feel like it's really hard to find someone in this day and age who has similar beliefs to me and is down to earth.
I just can't stand how lazy and boring he is, the drugs. He recently tried to get me to do drugs because he said he wanted me to be "more on his level." I was like sorry I don't want to be a worthless piece of shit. He still tries to get me to be drunk all the time. Obviously, he wants me to be someone else as much as I wish he were.
I just wish there was a resource I could reach out to that would come and get him. A grown up conversation and break up is out of the question. I'm too afraid of what he might do to me or my mom. And he blows all his money so he has nothing. Idk what to do. Breakups are hard when the person lives with me. I can't just leave when it's my house.
My mom told me today she feels like she lives like a prisoner since he came here. It was her idea for him to move here but she shouldn't feel like that. I can't afford to move either.
And now this virus has everything shut down so I definitely can't do anything now.
Only way I know that would work is set him up to get arrested for drugs. While he’s in jail dump his stuff at his family’s house.
You could also rent out your farm for a year and you and your mom do a temporary rental.
I already lease the farmable land to a friend. The farm is separate from my house and the acre we live on. The farm has no habitable buildings, running water, or electricity for miles around. Can't put in septic because of the waterways. No way to rent any of that. It doesn't matter. Right now he should be looking for an apartment closer to work. He could give me all his savings as payment for my old car and leave. He makes over 1400 every 2 weeks yet is always broke. That kind of money should easily pay for him to have an apartment near his job.
try contacting Dr. Phil TV show and get his ass out there in public......that should scorch the deal...he either gets help with drinking/drugging or gets lost....Dr. Phil will put his ass in a sling.....