First Day

This is my first entry and after reading some of the posts and discussions there is much more that I want to say that I knew the emotions were there but I was not sure how to put them into words.  This weekend (Christmas) was especially hard for me as I had to look at my sister who has 3 children and is pregnant with a 4th and hear everyone want to talk about how happy they were that she was pregnant and then look at me and ask when we were starting a family and why wasn't I pregnant yet?  It was a rough day and when I got home Sunday I took a nice long bath and just cryed, overcome with emotion.   I have a good friend who, along with her life partner decided to try to have a baby.  I am greatful that we were undergoing some of the same tests together and she could understand what I was going through.   I tend to be a private person and usually sort through my emotions by myself or with the aid of one other person - but this is too big to keep bottled up.  We are to the point of considering adopting as I am really not sure that I want to go through the shots, emotions, dr appts, 2ww only to have a bfn.  It is a roller coaster that I want to get off.   I feel like at least with adoption - the child is already born and ready for you to love.