Fire arm retrieval...
I'm trying to get my gun back that I turned in couple months ago; I have some unfinished business...it was my security blanket, my one-way ticket outa here!
It's amazing how close to the edge I am that something/anything can cause a spontaneous reaction and send me spiralling downward...I'm currently sitting on the edge of a cliff and I can feel myself swaying in the breeze with my eyes closed...
It's amazing how close to the edge I am that something/anything can cause a spontaneous reaction and send me spiralling downward...I'm currently sitting on the edge of a cliff and I can feel myself swaying in the breeze with my eyes closed...
Replies
So sorry to see you struggling within the depths of despair.
Hold on tight. You\'re needed here.
Please don\'t get your gun back, mal. There\'s a reason you turned it in. Please stay strong and don\'t get that damn thing back.
The wheels are already set in motion for my demise; if I don\'t get the gun back, I have other methods being contemplated - I\'m slowly giving up...
Please don\'t give up! Hang in there with me and so many who care and suffer too. I understand the feelings of worthlessness.
You son needs you. Even if you are depressed. If you are gone, he will be devastated and his life will change forever. (if you wonder how grief can take a toll on anyone, go to the suicide support group and read some of the journal and you will know our pain). Your existence is important to those who are around you. If you are on planning stage, you need to turn yourself in the hospital. You know your thinking process may change with the help. You can do it. Fight the good fight. You can do it. If not get help. I pray for you and please do not make me ache for loss of another soul due to suicide.
When we think about death, we often think about what will happen to us after we have died. But it is more important to think about what will happen to those we leave behind.
Utah, he\'s kept me here for a long time now; he\'s been my only source of inspiration - imagine that a 10yr old being the inspiration of a 45yr old man (how pitiful!)...when I come home, he embraces me - calls me his best buddy. I will lose this when me & my spouse separate & he adjusts to a new life, making new friend, etc...it won\'t be the same. He\'s my ONLY purpose as I struggle just to get thru each day now. People will go on, life will go on, without me. I am in so much pain and it\'s only about to get worse...
It is not pitiful that your son is your inspiration. If you are pitiful, then so am I, so are a lot of people! And you are wrong, your son needs you, he\'s only 10! He will terribly miss you if you go. I do understand your pain, but you have got to think about your child.
I don\'t find that pitiful at all to enjoy and be inspired by a 10 year old.
I have found great comfort and joy in seeing children play, comment and find joy in life.
Its my children who have kept me going all these years. He still needs u. Think about him. I know its so hard when u feel so bad x