Finding Yourself in Transistion
Rich...I am teaching from a book called "Finding Yourself in Transition" by Robert Brummet. Mr. Brumet was my counselor and one of my favorite teachers when I attended Unity Village. One time I was counselling with him and was telling him I felt like something was changing and I didn't know how to get there; his response was "there's no place to get to, only more of God to be revealed. This has stuck with me forever. Enjoy!
ENDING…VOID…NEW BEGINNINGS First, each transition begins with an ENDING. Change means letting go of the old (old behavior, old patterns, etc.) before we are able to embrace the new. So, the first stage of the transition process is "ENDINGS." Many of us would like to believe that the stage of "ENDINGS" is followed by “NEW BEGINNINGS” it is NOT! The next stage is called “the VOID!”
This stage is characterized by a feeling of emptiness and a sense of "wandering in the wilderness." Maybe where you are now or where I have found myself every time change/transition comes my way; it's never-ending.
Finally we come to the last stage which is that of "NEW BEGINNINGS."
4 Steps we go through during transition
Disengagement........no longer engaged in what was once a familiar part of our life.” What is my life about?" "What is my place in the world?" An ending impacts our answers to all of these. There is no single "right way to experience an ending. It is important to allow ourselves to have our feelings and to be cautious in making major decisions.
Disidentification.......Our outer world mirrors parts of our identity; when we lose the outer "mirror" it may feel as if we have lost part of ourselves.
Disenchantment.......Every culture "enchants" its members through its system of collective beliefs and values. We usually believe these beliefs are true, without question. To be disenchanted is to have one of these basic assumptions shattered. We may need these beliefs (i.e. enchantments) at certain stages of our growth, but at some stage, we need to release them. Much of our growth consists of letting go of "outgrown" enchantments. This is a very positive thing, but it rarely seems so at the time; it usually feels AWFUL!
Disappointment occurs when a certain circumstance fails to meet our desires……yet we continue with the same basic set of assumptions; disenchantment occurs when we drop the basic assumption.
Disorientation......... An ending may trigger disorientation: a sense of confusion, a LOSS of a sense of direction. The "maps" that we used to guide our life may suddenly become useless.
There is no single “right way” to experience an ending. It is important to allow ourselves to have our feelings and be cautious in making major decisions.
Chapter 1 Review:
Change is inevitable. This has always been true but is especially true today.
Deep and radical changes are occurring around us and within us. Some of our basic assumptions about life are being challenged.
Few of us have learned to deal with change in a healthy way. We often resist change because it confronts us with our fear of the unknown.
One of the deepest human needs is the need for meaning. We use meaning as a “road map of reality.”
Change often shatters our sense of meaning and takes us into new territory where the old “maps” no longer work.
Every change is a type of death. Yet, change is a characteristic of growth, and growth is a characteristic of life.
Our fear of death, of change, is fear of life itself. To resist death is to resist life, for every death is a harbinger (message) of new life.
Chapter 2 Review:
Transition is a process. More primal cultures were attuned to natural process. We in our culture are less attuned to the process of nature than to the clock and calendar.
Our mechanized world influences the way we see ourselves. We may see our value dependent upon our “usefulness.” Our economic system has become our master rather than our servant. This is reflected in our educational system.
We live with a “mechanistic paradigm.” We cause suffering when we try to handle transitions in a mechanical way.
A process is change occurring over a period of time. A process has certain elements that must occur in the right order and at the right time.
To work with a process, we must trust the Divine Order within it. To force our personal will upon a natural process is often damaging.
The mechanistic paradigm does not honor process; our desire for expedience and predictability often overrides natural process and causes us suffering.
There is a growing awareness that we cannot continue on the mechanical path. Our attitude toward the environment is shifting. We are starting to become more sensitive and aware in handling birth and death. Perhaps this attitude needs to be extended to other transitions.
Transition is a process; to understand it’s nature and to trust the wisdom within it allows us to use transition as a time for accelerated growth and learning.
ENDING…VOID…NEW BEGINNINGS First, each transition begins with an ENDING. Change means letting go of the old (old behavior, old patterns, etc.) before we are able to embrace the new. So, the first stage of the transition process is "ENDINGS." Many of us would like to believe that the stage of "ENDINGS" is followed by “NEW BEGINNINGS” it is NOT! The next stage is called “the VOID!”
This stage is characterized by a feeling of emptiness and a sense of "wandering in the wilderness." Maybe where you are now or where I have found myself every time change/transition comes my way; it's never-ending.
Finally we come to the last stage which is that of "NEW BEGINNINGS."
4 Steps we go through during transition
Disengagement........no longer engaged in what was once a familiar part of our life.” What is my life about?" "What is my place in the world?" An ending impacts our answers to all of these. There is no single "right way to experience an ending. It is important to allow ourselves to have our feelings and to be cautious in making major decisions.
Disidentification.......Our outer world mirrors parts of our identity; when we lose the outer "mirror" it may feel as if we have lost part of ourselves.
Disenchantment.......Every culture "enchants" its members through its system of collective beliefs and values. We usually believe these beliefs are true, without question. To be disenchanted is to have one of these basic assumptions shattered. We may need these beliefs (i.e. enchantments) at certain stages of our growth, but at some stage, we need to release them. Much of our growth consists of letting go of "outgrown" enchantments. This is a very positive thing, but it rarely seems so at the time; it usually feels AWFUL!
Disappointment occurs when a certain circumstance fails to meet our desires……yet we continue with the same basic set of assumptions; disenchantment occurs when we drop the basic assumption.
Disorientation......... An ending may trigger disorientation: a sense of confusion, a LOSS of a sense of direction. The "maps" that we used to guide our life may suddenly become useless.
There is no single “right way” to experience an ending. It is important to allow ourselves to have our feelings and be cautious in making major decisions.
Chapter 1 Review:
Change is inevitable. This has always been true but is especially true today.
Deep and radical changes are occurring around us and within us. Some of our basic assumptions about life are being challenged.
Few of us have learned to deal with change in a healthy way. We often resist change because it confronts us with our fear of the unknown.
One of the deepest human needs is the need for meaning. We use meaning as a “road map of reality.”
Change often shatters our sense of meaning and takes us into new territory where the old “maps” no longer work.
Every change is a type of death. Yet, change is a characteristic of growth, and growth is a characteristic of life.
Our fear of death, of change, is fear of life itself. To resist death is to resist life, for every death is a harbinger (message) of new life.
Chapter 2 Review:
Transition is a process. More primal cultures were attuned to natural process. We in our culture are less attuned to the process of nature than to the clock and calendar.
Our mechanized world influences the way we see ourselves. We may see our value dependent upon our “usefulness.” Our economic system has become our master rather than our servant. This is reflected in our educational system.
We live with a “mechanistic paradigm.” We cause suffering when we try to handle transitions in a mechanical way.
A process is change occurring over a period of time. A process has certain elements that must occur in the right order and at the right time.
To work with a process, we must trust the Divine Order within it. To force our personal will upon a natural process is often damaging.
The mechanistic paradigm does not honor process; our desire for expedience and predictability often overrides natural process and causes us suffering.
There is a growing awareness that we cannot continue on the mechanical path. Our attitude toward the environment is shifting. We are starting to become more sensitive and aware in handling birth and death. Perhaps this attitude needs to be extended to other transitions.
Transition is a process; to understand it’s nature and to trust the wisdom within it allows us to use transition as a time for accelerated growth and learning.
Replies
Thank you Vicki, VERY important information and insights. Thank you!!!
I want to add something here, \"Every culture \"enchants\" its members through its system of collective beliefs and values. (and potential rewards.) Just my take on it.
Hugszzz,
Rich
Thanks for this share Vicki.
My take is that our culture both \"enchants\" and \"threatens.\"
It takes a great deal of courage to go against the \"value and belief systems\" of the dominant culture.
Though, I think this is slowly changing in some areas.
xx
Amazing!!! I can see \'myself\' in so many of these stages! Thank you xxx
I do don\'t do change well. I appear to others as though I do for some reason. But inside I will feel as though I am clinging for dear life on a wild roller coaster ride.
Yoga, meditation and prayer is helping me a lot with this.
And my friends on DS.