Finding my way

It's weird.  I feel like I've been finding my way in the dark.  Figuratively speaking, feeling my way, with my hands, feet and by bumping into things with my head and body.  Tactile.  Slow.  Progress has been painfully slow.   What's weird is the realization I had today ... then simply open my eyes.  See, believe, navigate and progress.  It's painfully simple yet it took me so long to realize.  I always knew my healing was up to me ... but now I believe it. I understand it.  This new perspective is so much more than simply my past.  Actually, it's about my present.  I feel like a weight has been lifted.  I can see clearly.  I feel like, for the first time in a long time, that I have a direction ... a path.  Oddly, there doesn't appear to be a goal, or brass ring, at the "end" of the path.  I'm content to take my time and find my way slowly.  In fact the journey to the destination seems to be the prize ... the learning, understanding and seeing is my reward.  A personal reward.  I am letting go of the struggle of forgiveness ... and simply beginning to honestly forgive.  It's so freeing and powerful that the understanding can be overwhelming.