Finding great things through such loss

For many years I have been aware of the things that have been taken away from me, the things I couldnt do, the experiences I couldnt have, yet now I have learned that the wisdom that has come from this illness has given me more than any of my past hopes and dreams.
The truth is, before contracting this illness, I was so lost and afraid of this life, the fear of just floating through it without finding purpose consumed me, now I have understanding, wisdom, compassion and love. It has been a very harsh lesson, no doubt about it, but the thought of going back to the person who I was before this illness, scares me far more than having it. I ask myself who is a better person, the person I was before CFS, or the person I am now, and there is no comparrison.
This wisdom I feel is almost overwhelming, I believe now, that all my life my greatest downfall was my intelligence, I was so aware of everything, overly so, it caused great depression and pain- I couldnt allow the slightest bit of ignorance in my life, I simply wouldnt stand it. I am wiser than anyone I have physically met my age, and I have sacrificed far more than any of them.
I have gone from someone who was lost, clinging on to anything I could find, to someone who would give his compassion to anyone, because I know everyone is deserving.
 
While it is scary to live with this illness, to me, what is even more scary, is the thought of living my life as the person who didn't have it.