Finding Courage

I have so much going on in my life right now.  Im in a very complicated situation and no friends on the outside to help.  I have grown use to being isolated after being with a narcessist for 16 years....most days I feel I cant relate with anyone even though I left him almost 2 years ago.  I feel my life is in a spiral.  I cant make the simpilest of decisions nevermind the difficult ones.  I want so much to have a place in this world of my own but at 47 im afraid.  There arent many options for a woman my age.  I dont see me ever being trusting or brave enough to pursue a relationship.

Im in a situation where i live with someone but I dont love them which makes me feel like a terrible person.  I left already once, but they begged me to come back.  Ive been back since 5 months and Im miserable.  I dont trust my decisions...I dont know what to do.