Finding a Way

I went to the Spokane weight loss surgery information seminar on the 18th so at least I've finally got a foot on the path.  I'd just finished a stretch of 6 nights followed by my first travel nursing assignment, 12-hour nightshifts at a small hospital a 4-hour drive from home.  I slept 2 hours in the hotel before making the trip back to Spokane to be at the seminar by 1430. Exhaustion had set in. My legs were vaguely similar to water balloons on the verge of bursting, the skin taut and burning, stretched to their limit with swelling.   With everything happening to my family financially and me struggling to the point of collapse trying to both keep my family afloat and save enough to have this surgery I'm afraid I almost lost it when they told us that there was 100% coverage for Medicaid recipients, no pre-conditions needed.  This is so wrong!  Why is it ok for people who don't work to have this surgery for free when those of us working 2 and 3 jobs just to make ends meet can't because it costs too much? Why is it ok for insurance companies to decide that they don't have to fully cover gastric bypass for working people when the state thinks it's important enough to use taxpayer money to cover it no questions asked? It's just so unfair! So here I am, working 12-hour nightshifts night after night after night.  No days off.  Away from home several days at a time on what should have been my days off.  My 12-year old son crying because I'm always working and he wants me home.  Me crying because I want to be there with him too.  But if I don't work, not only wouldn't I get the surgery I so desperately need we'd lose the farm, our vehicles would be repossessed, Ben couldn't go to college and who knows what else could happen.  I don't see another way.  I'm just so totally frustrated and exhausted right now I don't know what to do except to continue on. But, I made it to the seminar without falling asleep on the road thank goodness and I got signed up.  Somehow I'll get the money.  Haven't quite figured out how yet since I'm running out of hours in a day to work and they require full payment 2 weeks before the surgery date.  Somehow it will happen though.  The scheduling gal is supposed to get ahold of me before the 28th to schedule the consultation appointment with the surgeon.  It's not much but one step on the path is one step on the path.  I haven't given up yet!