find out in two days......
I'm doing okay because I believe that my test results will be fine BUT every now and then I can't help but go down that road that I may hear bad news. I know it's on my mind when I'm sleeping because whenever I'm waking from my dreamy state - that's what I'm thinking about. The good news is I'm not in a funk or obsessing about it or worrying because I know that that is a waste of time. In fact, I'm actually having fun preparing for the art classes I'll be teaching next week. The last session I taught (although I liked the "topic" better) I didn't enjoy the process very much. So this, in itself, has been a great distraction. Plus - I've really been enjoying working in my garden. It's the best it's ever looked because of all the unusual rain we've had this spring and early summer.
As far as the boys are concerned ~ strangely enough ~ T's behavior around the house (when he's here) is much improved! Because I laid down my boundaries and re-visited our expectations by insisting he follow them. Although it's not perfect ~ his attitude is better and I feel better. Part of it is, I think, is his desire to go to a particular trade school my husband took him to. He's so excited about it. 3/4 outdoor and hands on work. He is interested in eco-tourism or horticulture. This college isn't close to us ~ so that would mean he would be on his own. I'm not sure if he can pull this off because he's still using but ~ we have to try.
J, on the other hand, isn't doing well. He decided to stop taking the Wellbutrin and, I believe, he's been partying more instead. My husband is upset with him because last night J called and asked if he could keep the car and stay overnight (wherever he was). Hubby said no because he needed his car. His brief case and parking pass were in there. I know J didn't want to drive because he'd been drinking but he wouldn't reveal that anymore like he used to. Maybe because "we" broke our rule that he can't have our cars in the evening. I make the rules and am pretty good about following through with them on my own but with husband I slide because - I don't know - it's easier. Perhaps my husband had to see for himself why I think it's important to not allow J the car at night. I want him to talk to J about this. It's tiring for me to do all the time.....
As far as the boys are concerned ~ strangely enough ~ T's behavior around the house (when he's here) is much improved! Because I laid down my boundaries and re-visited our expectations by insisting he follow them. Although it's not perfect ~ his attitude is better and I feel better. Part of it is, I think, is his desire to go to a particular trade school my husband took him to. He's so excited about it. 3/4 outdoor and hands on work. He is interested in eco-tourism or horticulture. This college isn't close to us ~ so that would mean he would be on his own. I'm not sure if he can pull this off because he's still using but ~ we have to try.
J, on the other hand, isn't doing well. He decided to stop taking the Wellbutrin and, I believe, he's been partying more instead. My husband is upset with him because last night J called and asked if he could keep the car and stay overnight (wherever he was). Hubby said no because he needed his car. His brief case and parking pass were in there. I know J didn't want to drive because he'd been drinking but he wouldn't reveal that anymore like he used to. Maybe because "we" broke our rule that he can't have our cars in the evening. I make the rules and am pretty good about following through with them on my own but with husband I slide because - I don't know - it's easier. Perhaps my husband had to see for himself why I think it's important to not allow J the car at night. I want him to talk to J about this. It's tiring for me to do all the time.....
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