Financial stability
Oh Roger all my life I have been financially stable, never super rich, at times doing quite well. I gave up my career for you, and you left me very unstable financially. Its at a time in my life finding a way up is extra hard. I can not go back to my career at this age, first of all no jobs there anyway - second of all my age is against me.
So I called your friend Pastor Ed, cried, told him how scared I have been, worried, upset etc. CLUELESS. For Gods sake he is a pastor, he hardly could say anything, yeah he prayed for me after appearing very uncomfortable and clueless.
I truly worked my &^%# ASS off getting this place up to sellable part - you could have done more but frankly my dear you were RE Tired. I am sick of this place, sick of working on it, sick of spending money on it, and sick of worrying about coming out with enough to keep my head above water. Going back to college at age 38, and finishing later in life was my dream, I never once thought I would met you or anyone - I did, but I did not think the long term consequences through with you being older....I wished I had looked more towards what if's now. I tried you pushed me away said oh I ain't going no where my dad lived to be 96. Reversed you almost made it. I told Pastor Ed "where is GOD, is he there, he answered we might not like what he has in store but if I lose everything thats is what he wants for me, I said so if I am homeless thats Gods will eh? I just shook my head" I am fighting trying to believe I will be ok - I am all alone in this - everyone busy with their lives etc....so Please if you are up in heaven go see my guardian angels tell them I need a break, ok.
So I called your friend Pastor Ed, cried, told him how scared I have been, worried, upset etc. CLUELESS. For Gods sake he is a pastor, he hardly could say anything, yeah he prayed for me after appearing very uncomfortable and clueless.
I truly worked my &^%# ASS off getting this place up to sellable part - you could have done more but frankly my dear you were RE Tired. I am sick of this place, sick of working on it, sick of spending money on it, and sick of worrying about coming out with enough to keep my head above water. Going back to college at age 38, and finishing later in life was my dream, I never once thought I would met you or anyone - I did, but I did not think the long term consequences through with you being older....I wished I had looked more towards what if's now. I tried you pushed me away said oh I ain't going no where my dad lived to be 96. Reversed you almost made it. I told Pastor Ed "where is GOD, is he there, he answered we might not like what he has in store but if I lose everything thats is what he wants for me, I said so if I am homeless thats Gods will eh? I just shook my head" I am fighting trying to believe I will be ok - I am all alone in this - everyone busy with their lives etc....so Please if you are up in heaven go see my guardian angels tell them I need a break, ok.
Replies
I am sorry you have to worry. I feel the same way a lot of the time. My house is VERY sellable with beautiful kitchen and bath, and 35 acres of lovely hardwood forest, but I can\'t sell it. Yet I still have to pay the taxes and insurance. I am keeping my head above water so far, but my bills are going up while my income is not yet. I pray every day for my house to sell. We both need a break! Big hugs for you, Patti
Hang in there. I am very sorry. I know it is so hard right now and you are feeling so alone. You are not alone. Things will start to go in place for you. I dont think you doubt your faith you question it right now. There is a difference. Here is a prayer I got from Grief Share for you:
God, You are powerful and living and real. Have mercy on me; I do not understand why I am going through this. Bless me, Lord, I want to experience You deeper and closer than ever before. Amen.
Love and hugs to you
Edie
I know you did a lot of work, sometimes things take longer than we expect, don\'t give up. Its hard to be going thru what you are handling, it isn\'t easy when we feel alone. I am sorry you are feeling so unhappy and scared, things will work out.
Hugs and strength your way
Maria
Many hugs, and HOPES that all works out for you because you deserve it to. you have worked SO HARD, and at every turn you are hitting walls I know, and I understand being sick of it all.
It\'s OK to be ANGRY. Sometimes that gives us the strength to move forward, and get it done.
Unlike the pastor, I do not think it\'s in Gods \"plan\" for you to be homeless. You can do this, and get through it all with the determination you have and have always had. Trust you. Take good care of yourself right now, take a breath, and then keep up the great work you always have. It has to work out for you.
Diane
I am sorry to hear that you are so down right now. I understand completely your being sick of all the work, frustrated, feeling like your life is going nowhere. Sorry the Pastor couldn\'t have been more supportive; it has been my experience too that many clergymen are uncomfortable when faced with real life situations. I am sure that God has a plan for you, and that it does not include you being homeless. I just said a prayer for you. Lean on God right now; this is when you need Him most. Ask Him to take away your worry and stress. ((((HUGS)))) Julie
My dear, you are going through a horrendous time in your life right now and I empathize. I believe we have what we need in us to overcome what we are faced with. I believe it is the gift God gives to ALL of us. I don\'t believe God wants you to suffer, is punishing you, etc. I believe love is the answer to all our needs. If we come from love we will have peace, if we come from fear, we will have fear. God Bless . . . Hugs, Lindanne
Thank You all for your thoughts, I am just going through this afraid scared stage - I struggle through all in the first year I thought I did good, I worked hard at fixing etc. than boom all done except for odds and ends now sitting back I see its going to be nip and tuck and I am not used to it - and I truly am afraid ....so thanks everyone....
It\'s a shame that your pastor didn\'t have practical support. I never believe that it\'s in God\'s plan for us to suffer, and we shouldn\'t have to as long as there are others around to help us. Your pastor should have some information for you to receive help of some kind. Are there others in the church that would have some practical/compassionate solutions?
I also wished I had pushed Mike more on the \"worst case scenario.\" I understand the financial worry and the stress and strain of caring for a \"money pit.\" I really hope and pray that this situation will end soon for you and that you can proceed with your plan to move closer to your son and employment. Hang tough. We\'re here for you. Hugs, Amy