Finally starting a new chapter.
After 2 weeks of deep depression, I finally feel at home in my new environment. The apartment is small but cosy, and my son and his step-cousin are wonderful people!
Of course it is just me to mean well, but do or say the wrong things! My son's girlfriend ended their relationship, for the third time, and this upset my son badly. It got me upset also, and so I sent her a message in which I gave her a small but clear piece of my mind! Well, they are back together again, and I apologized to them both. My son asked me in a very nice way to let him sort out his own problems. This made me realize that my "active mommy days" ended when Colleen passed away. My job is done. I never realized this as clearly as I do now.
So far I picked up 2 feathers outside, signs from my Colleen. And this morning the clouds were very strange, they almost looked like some of Colleen's drawings! Looking at different forms of the clouds, I felt Colleen's presence, and that gave me some peace. The new chapter in my life is still a blank slate. At the moment I don't have the will or energy to fill these new pages! But eventually, I guess, they will be filled also.
Of course it is just me to mean well, but do or say the wrong things! My son's girlfriend ended their relationship, for the third time, and this upset my son badly. It got me upset also, and so I sent her a message in which I gave her a small but clear piece of my mind! Well, they are back together again, and I apologized to them both. My son asked me in a very nice way to let him sort out his own problems. This made me realize that my "active mommy days" ended when Colleen passed away. My job is done. I never realized this as clearly as I do now.
So far I picked up 2 feathers outside, signs from my Colleen. And this morning the clouds were very strange, they almost looked like some of Colleen's drawings! Looking at different forms of the clouds, I felt Colleen's presence, and that gave me some peace. The new chapter in my life is still a blank slate. At the moment I don't have the will or energy to fill these new pages! But eventually, I guess, they will be filled also.
Replies
It\'s okay this is a HUGE change for you. And yes Mommy....let your son be a big boy. He will make many mistakes and this girl is just one of them and we both know it, but LIVE AND LEARN is a well known phrase for a very good reason. BUTT OUT lololol.
You are so right! When I was young, I got very upset when my parents interfered in my life. And here I\'m doing the same?! Lol! Time to cut the \"apron strings\" and accept reality, - they are grown-ups now.
There\'s where I\'m finding myself......trying to accept that my \"mommy\" days with my grown son are over. On the one hand I don\'t like it, on the other of course this is a good thing. But man, I could do such a better job at running his life than he can!!! LOL!
How wonderful to look into the clouds and SEE gifts from your sweet Colleen!!!! THANK YOU COLLEEN!!
We don\'t have to have all the blank pages figured out. Just have to let the ink of our BEing fill them with each day and each breath we take.
Love you!
Love to Colleen!
You are settling in and with that comes the bumps and scrapes of living. I believe boundaries are always being set in our adult lives with our children and those we are in relationship with. Forgive your humanness and actually, it\'s such a freedom to allow our children to live their lives. So hard to do at times and I have lots and lots of duct tape around for those moments when I need it. :)
Grateful you are where you are and that you had some feather moments. I think you know that is a way that Douglas says hello too so I have no doubt Colleen and Douglas know when we need a feather happening. :)
Loving care my friend and we\'ll just keep swimming and remember to float when we need to.
XO Joanie
I want to remember what my mom did and not be her!!! glad you are feeling better in the appt... I like the description of the clouds they sound beautiful!! love ya!
Hugs and love to you my dear sweet friend. You are in my prayers. xoxo
Perhaps the first step in beginning that new life would be to do some volunteer work in your new community. Particularly at a childrens hospital or elderly care facility. Since I lost my wife 15 months ago, I have stepped out into public, and volunteer some of my time in the promotion of needed respite relief for caregivers.
Hugs, Dan
Dear Andelene,You are always in my Thoughts and Prayers
Sending Best Wishes Your Way Love,Hugs&Blessings,
Maria