Finally put My Finger on It

I've been in a crap mood all day and I finally put my finger on it.... MLM is texting or calling every day... and I am realizing I am still very angry with her. I'm angry that she can scream and yell and has gotten away with it for so many years. I'm just SO mad. 

I do not want to hear from her. I do not want to be around her. And THG is coming up and I do not want to be around her. AT ALL> 

I told HH that I can't face both THG and xmas this year with her. I'm still too mad. There is a party for his mom, but he said none of the spouses are going to be there. NONE of them. So I do not feel near as bad. He understands how I feel. He is ok with it.

I just want to leave town and GET OUT OF HERE and not be around her. AT least for one of those holidays. 

I hate the whole cooking thing any way for Thg. It's not my thing any more. I was thinking about asking her to go with me earlier but she RUINED IT ... with her yelling and screaming. She yelled and screamed at me one time while I stayed the night w/ her. She came in while I was asleep and started yelling at me bc I hadn't washed the dishes that were in the sink ... there were about ten of them and they were her dishes... they were there when I got there.... she was screaming that I SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT she needs help and that I am a grown person and shld do them... and on and on.... I didn't stay the night w/ her for a year after that.

I might not want to be with her for far longer ... I don't know what's wrong with her... but I don't want to fix it.

I finally figured that out today. And when I did... I talked to my husband about it. Now I will just focus on going to be with my daughter and she can deal w/ mdb over the holidays. 

I went and bought a mandala to embroidary. It is really neat and tedious. I really like doing this kind of work. So that's what I am doing tonight to relax... and listenign to Secret Garden. REally nice.

I need to light some candles or do some aroma therapy to cleanse and clear my thoughts. 

Namaste . G