Finally heard from him
He finally sent me a text message yesterday after nearly a week.
Things are fine there. My response worked and the fact that what I said in my text was the past tense. He said I did the right thing and was very apologetic.
He asked if I was mad at him. I told him I hate myself. Still not eating much. Just had some nuts and berries to snack on yesterday.
I told him I want to see him to talk. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say yet but I needed reassurance. Then I panicked and told him i wasnt sure if i was ready to see him because I didnt know what I wanted to say and he said he wants to see me. I asked him why- he said to talk and he misses me.
Against my better judgement- I let him come over. I really needed to talk with him. We laid on my bed and I cried and told him how awful I feel. I told him she used to be a pronoun and now she is a real person- she contacted me. She told me it broke her heart to see that text message. He said if I need to end it he will respect it and we can be friends and he will still love me and when we talk it will be to say how are you etc....but he will not end it. I asked him why and he said he cant and hes just not ready. He said I'm something that is just for him that he doesnt have to share me with anyone else and I'm giving, and one of his best friends and its been a long long time.
We laid here and kissed and talked and it was what I needed. When he left we hugged and I told him I love him and he said he loves me and no matter what happens with us that won't change.
How do you leave someone you love?
I have to love myself more I guess. That's hard for me.
Things are fine there. My response worked and the fact that what I said in my text was the past tense. He said I did the right thing and was very apologetic.
He asked if I was mad at him. I told him I hate myself. Still not eating much. Just had some nuts and berries to snack on yesterday.
I told him I want to see him to talk. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say yet but I needed reassurance. Then I panicked and told him i wasnt sure if i was ready to see him because I didnt know what I wanted to say and he said he wants to see me. I asked him why- he said to talk and he misses me.
Against my better judgement- I let him come over. I really needed to talk with him. We laid on my bed and I cried and told him how awful I feel. I told him she used to be a pronoun and now she is a real person- she contacted me. She told me it broke her heart to see that text message. He said if I need to end it he will respect it and we can be friends and he will still love me and when we talk it will be to say how are you etc....but he will not end it. I asked him why and he said he cant and hes just not ready. He said I'm something that is just for him that he doesnt have to share me with anyone else and I'm giving, and one of his best friends and its been a long long time.
We laid here and kissed and talked and it was what I needed. When he left we hugged and I told him I love him and he said he loves me and no matter what happens with us that won't change.
How do you leave someone you love?
I have to love myself more I guess. That's hard for me.
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