Finally Getting Some Relief
My legs have almost totally stopped shaking. The Cogentin is doing it's job. I don't wan to be on Cogentin forever, so I need to figure out which medication is causing the shaking. I think it's the Neurontin, since that's the new one. I was fine before on the Depakote until it started giving me liver problems because my dose was too high. I told my doctor I could do a compromise on it and go with 1.5 pills a day, since I can take that without bad side effects. It sucks to have to go to so many doctors, but that's life. The psychiatrist on staff in the ER was more knowledgeable than the doctors in the clinic. I guess because they deal with bad side effects of medications all the time. I'm happy that my legs are healing... you can't imagine the hell it is having your legs shaking all the time, when you wake up, try and seep, everything. Walking and hot baths were my only relief.
My mood is good today... I went to work and it was nice. They put me back at the information desk for a while since someone told me there was no work left for me to do since everyone was gone. I go back later to have a snack, and then they saw me and gave me work. The 5 hours seemed to pass slow when I was in there, but now that it's over it seems like it was just a blink of the eye. I like being busy. I got to leave early since nobody else was picking up to make appointments. I had to go to the information desk a couple times to get an appointment for a doctor in our clinic since the appointment line is impossible to get through on. I'm just glad I don't work there. I could in the future, but not for now. Once I get a job there, they are fond of switching you around.
I talked to the boss today and he said he might get me that health information scanner job when I get back. I'm excited about that... thinking that I might be able to have a job soon makes me feel good. It doesn't help when I feel like crap like I did earlier in the month, but I have to remain focused on what is right. If I worry too much about going into the hospital, then I'm going to end up there, and that's not a place I want to be. I'm surprised that Mr. Prater (the boss) asked me about that job with all my absences this month. I was out with food poisoning for a day, I was in the hospital for a week, and Monday I spent all day waiting to see the doctor in the Urgent Care clinic. I did go into work for about a half hour on Monday, but nowhere near the 3 hours I was supposed to do. Today wasn't too bad... I just helped out at the information desk and helped answer questions. I like feeling helpful. I guess they just want me in whatever position I can get in so I can get my foot in the door. I may have to work for little money compared to what I'm used to, but I also have my SSDI check to help me out. I'm glad I went on disability.. it's giving me time to heal.
Sleep last night was broken... I woke up in the early morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I just lay there in bed and tried to rest. That's what I was doing for most of the night anyway. I got some sleep, but it was what I call blink sleep. Blink sleep is when you blink and an hour or two has passed, but you don't feel like you've missed any time. I think it's the lower classes of sleep where you don't get into REM, so you don't get the rest you need. I got about 13 hours of that, and then when I got home from work I took a nap from 5:30pm to 8pm. That was good sleep. I though it was 8am when I first got up, but the light was wrong. I don't know if I'm going to be able to fall asleep tonight easily, I may have to take a sleeping pill. I've been trying not to take them, but if I need them, I need them. It's just that they are addictive.
Food today was horrible. I only ate about 800 calories today and I'm not hungry for more. I just want to finish this journal and lie down and get ready to go to sleep. Even if I'm not tired now, there's no telling how I'm going to feel in a half hour. I need to find ways to get more calories in. I woke up today at 11am, and so I've been up for almost 12 hours and I can't eat. Oh well, there's nothing I can do about that. I just have to be careful that I'm not falling back into my anorexia phase. I eat when I'm hungry and I don't purge, so I don't think so. I just feel like I got that stomach stapling surgery done and now I can't eat anymore. But I don't do that anymore, and I didn't get the surgery. I guess it's just leftover from depression from the past couple months. -shrug- I don't know.
My mood is good today... I went to work and it was nice. They put me back at the information desk for a while since someone told me there was no work left for me to do since everyone was gone. I go back later to have a snack, and then they saw me and gave me work. The 5 hours seemed to pass slow when I was in there, but now that it's over it seems like it was just a blink of the eye. I like being busy. I got to leave early since nobody else was picking up to make appointments. I had to go to the information desk a couple times to get an appointment for a doctor in our clinic since the appointment line is impossible to get through on. I'm just glad I don't work there. I could in the future, but not for now. Once I get a job there, they are fond of switching you around.
I talked to the boss today and he said he might get me that health information scanner job when I get back. I'm excited about that... thinking that I might be able to have a job soon makes me feel good. It doesn't help when I feel like crap like I did earlier in the month, but I have to remain focused on what is right. If I worry too much about going into the hospital, then I'm going to end up there, and that's not a place I want to be. I'm surprised that Mr. Prater (the boss) asked me about that job with all my absences this month. I was out with food poisoning for a day, I was in the hospital for a week, and Monday I spent all day waiting to see the doctor in the Urgent Care clinic. I did go into work for about a half hour on Monday, but nowhere near the 3 hours I was supposed to do. Today wasn't too bad... I just helped out at the information desk and helped answer questions. I like feeling helpful. I guess they just want me in whatever position I can get in so I can get my foot in the door. I may have to work for little money compared to what I'm used to, but I also have my SSDI check to help me out. I'm glad I went on disability.. it's giving me time to heal.
Sleep last night was broken... I woke up in the early morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I just lay there in bed and tried to rest. That's what I was doing for most of the night anyway. I got some sleep, but it was what I call blink sleep. Blink sleep is when you blink and an hour or two has passed, but you don't feel like you've missed any time. I think it's the lower classes of sleep where you don't get into REM, so you don't get the rest you need. I got about 13 hours of that, and then when I got home from work I took a nap from 5:30pm to 8pm. That was good sleep. I though it was 8am when I first got up, but the light was wrong. I don't know if I'm going to be able to fall asleep tonight easily, I may have to take a sleeping pill. I've been trying not to take them, but if I need them, I need them. It's just that they are addictive.
Food today was horrible. I only ate about 800 calories today and I'm not hungry for more. I just want to finish this journal and lie down and get ready to go to sleep. Even if I'm not tired now, there's no telling how I'm going to feel in a half hour. I need to find ways to get more calories in. I woke up today at 11am, and so I've been up for almost 12 hours and I can't eat. Oh well, there's nothing I can do about that. I just have to be careful that I'm not falling back into my anorexia phase. I eat when I'm hungry and I don't purge, so I don't think so. I just feel like I got that stomach stapling surgery done and now I can't eat anymore. But I don't do that anymore, and I didn't get the surgery. I guess it's just leftover from depression from the past couple months. -shrug- I don't know.
Replies
Could the not wanting to eat be from the new medication? It might be starting to build up in your body and making the lack of appetite. Just a thought.
How wonderful that your boss inquired about a position! That would be super fantastic!