Finally Friday
It is hard to believe that I was newly engaged last Friday and here I am unengaged on this Friday. Life changes with the wind.
Things are starting to change here as I suspected. Our jobs are slowly shutting down which mean no business and eventually no work. I am trying not to think about what could've been with Joe RV. It's over and done with and I can't go back and change things. Must move on. The longer the days go without an apology for his behavior the more my decision is justified but until I reach that point there is the "What if's". (I know Ill never get that apology).
I have decided I will pack up my daughters pictures and awards and send them to her. I have carried them around with me long enough and looked at them a thousand times wishing and hoping things might change. But....you can't control people-you can only control what you expose yourself to and it continues to be painful for me to accept. This latest nuptial drama made me realize that.
I am going to get in the car this weekend and drive out to the country. I am in search of a country house rental so that I can be in the woods and grow a garden and Sammycat can roam freely. I realize it might be hard to find right now but with everyone kindve stuck where they are there might be some rental places available. You just never know. If there was a place remote enough to live off the grid I would but it would be tough for a single woman who needs a means to an end.
To all-have a wonderful healthy day.
Replies
I went through several such engagements during my Army tour. 300 men for every woman? ? ? That's before you get to the European visa hunters I encountered in my wandering ways. How much temptation can a girl resist? Was I supposed to be embarrassed by those whirlwinds? I'm mostly glad Interpol wasn't computerized in those days.
I already own more property than I can manage, but I still love those wandering wonders of peeking through windows of available property. Since I'm living on a farm these days, the urban properties feel like the more exotic exploration, but whichever direction I am flowing, it still feels cathartic in ways I still have no words for. Enjoy.
I know where a few of those off-grid spots are, but I ain't telling. They have grow precious in their scarcity. There aren't many left. Off-grid life used to be easier than domestic life for this beaten crazy bitch wolf, but I still ain't found Easy Street.
I did just receive a text from RV Joe-he asked me for my PO key which he never gave me and told me he'd be paying me back money
I spent-told him to keep it. An expensive and sad lesson to learn.
Education ain't cheap, but a dollar invested in my head is a dollar nobody can take away from me. I take that especially to heart on the lessons I doesn't wanna sit through a second time. In other words, I wouldn't take his money, either. I believe dignity is cheap at twice the price.
Buttttttaaaa. . . If that were entirely true, the Queen of England should be bowing to me by now.
Okay, okay. . . I'll stop shoulding myself now.
Sigh. . . Insert Dylan here. When will we ever learn?