Finally cleaning again....
I know this title sounds silly but since I've lost my Son and Husband 9 months ago I have had no energy or enthusiasm for much of anything. A year ago I was doing laundry EVERY DAY, vacuuming a couple times a week, cooking dinner every night, etc. Then after everything happened I could barely get out of bed. My bed was my best friend for many months. But now I'm back to work and getting a little bit more energy every day.
So today was very different for me. I actually cleaned my house AND did laundry AND went grocery shopping!
It's just so hard to go from a family of four to a family of 2. And my oldest son moved out last month which was very, VERY hard. :( So I have a 4 bedroom home now to take care of inside and out, all by myself now. But....today was a good day and I got a lot accomplished. I'm looking forward to more of these days!
So today was very different for me. I actually cleaned my house AND did laundry AND went grocery shopping!
It's just so hard to go from a family of four to a family of 2. And my oldest son moved out last month which was very, VERY hard. :( So I have a 4 bedroom home now to take care of inside and out, all by myself now. But....today was a good day and I got a lot accomplished. I'm looking forward to more of these days!
Replies
I\'m glad you got a lot of things accomplished!! I know it was hard for me going from a family of 3 down to two.I could not imagine 4 to 2. There is nothing silly about anything you just said! I am very proud of you for just being able to get out of the bed!! I was still in a daze that seemd like everything was moving around me and I was just there at 9 months, I was working again by then, but I swear I don\'t remember hardley anything that first year!
Good for you Sue! I find I do things when I feel like it, not when it needs to be done and it sure does feel good to accomplish something, anything! My recliner was/is like you bed, my comfort spot. Thing are \"different\" now and life through our eyes and hearts brings on a whole new meaning. Something only \"we\" can understand. Hoping for some sunshine to peek out from behind those clouds now and again. Have a peaceful weekend.. Much love, Sharon xoxo
I am so happy you got this burst of energy...and it is a good sign for you. I hope it continues. I think in the beginning it goes back and forth...good days, bad days. As the time goes on, it becomes more good days than bad days. I guess it\'s our bodies getting used to our new normal. Much love, Connie
I can understand your lack of energy. Even after 5 years since I lost my sons I still have some days I cant really get anything done. I was thinking maybe I was starting to get lazy....but it dawned on me that it was out of character for me to have no initiative. I understand now just how much energy grieving takes, which explains times of not feeling up to doing things.
It\'s really nice to hear today is a good day for you. Enjoy it!
Not silly at all! Grief takes over one\'s life and to enter into and BE within it as you are takes every ounce and then some of one\'s life force.
To lose your son and your husband as you did in such a short amount of time is the most horrific heart punch ever. Each loss compounding the other and trying to grieve each uniquely and collectively as I mentioned to Vicki (babiboismom) in a comment in one of her journals who lost both her beloved sons just within weeks of one another. Deepest of sighs...
I am reading one of the best books ever for the second time that has been highly recommended here by many called, Transcending Loss (Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make It Meaningful) by Ashely Davis Bush. It is a must have for each of our book shelves and a book I highly recommend. Even if I can only read a few pages at a time or chapter at a time I find myself feeling as if finally I\'m absorbing an author who is trying to get at the heart of the matter for those of us walking this grief path. She provides validation and hope for everything we are feeling and I loved how she said, \"Grief is not an illness, it is not something to get over or to be cured.\" Something to that effect that has really stayed with me and helped me to understand what I am going through. Its impact will be with me for a lifetime and I\'m trying to learn how to live my life with it informing me yet not taking over my entire life. It\'s a work in progress indeed and not a goal to be reached.
I know how great it feels to have those bursts of energy and just know as Connie mentioned that in time you will begin to hopefully have a few more of these kinds of days.
Take care and so happy you wrote about how you are feeling and that you got my message and comment about where to find information about the retreat on our Group Discussion page. Please let us know if you any other questions.
Gentle care and heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
kudos... I didn\'t clean for the longest time,,, and still have times when I would rather sit and do nothing and other times I clean and clean,,,love ya!
I hope this is a sign of good things to come, some healing, some happier moments. Maybe you can find your \"new normal\" in your time at home alone. I know that one day you will laugh a little more, love a little more, and one day wake up to feel your husband and son all around you.
I dud nothing other than go to ork and hOme for 2 yRs. And that includes cleaning cooking & paying bills. ( I don\'t rec omnend that one. ... It creates a real mess ).. So I understand
Hugs. Marylou
No, not silly at all!!!! Totally real and understandable. I celebrate your energy and being able to not only clean, but to share the victory of doing so with us!!
Here\'s to baby steps and every once in a while a giant step into our healing!!! WooHoo!
Love you!
Love to J.R.