Final Update

I will continue to write in the Daily Strength journal, but this is the final update I sent out to my friends and family.   Hi Friends,I guess it's time for my final update.  I've not forgotten you, but have been totally overwhelmed since I came home.  This is something I did not realize, but after a couple months of dealing with cancer, and surgery, and radiation, little by little I let things fall to the wayside.  Now I'm finished with the last treatment as of Monday, and I want to do everything in one day.  Isn't that the way we all are?  However, the doctors told me to give it a couple weeks to heal and recover from radiation, and of course I thought I was different and could come home and start right in.  My stomach is the worst problem, still being unstable, so I don't know when it will prevent me from whatever it is that I'm planning.  I also continue to get hot flashes that require immediately loosening any clothing I have on, (if possible undressing!), opening the nearest window, guzzling down an iced drink, and trying to wait it out.  Other than those minor inconveniences, I am GREAT!  I am grateful to be home and am trying to get grounded and get into a routine.  It's interesting that I don't need the old routine, so I have to find a new one.  I did not realize how bad the cancer had made me feel, and even the Fibromyalgia is better than it was before.  So my days will no longer revolve around how bad I feel, but exploring what I can do now.Cancer has been a blessing in that I found friends and caring people in places I did not expect.  I found understanding and love and kindness and acceptance in situations that would have been humiliating and scary.  I found out that the smallest gesture or word or smile really does make a difference in someone's day when they don't feel good.  I have the enormous job of trying to figure out how to say thank you to those who have made that difference to me, and truthfully, I don't know how.  Some people will never know because I won't see them again, or I don't know who they even are.  So I will tell you, please know that when you are nice or kind or decent, it is appreciated by someone, but you  might never find out.  That includes those of you who have prayed for me too! God gave me everything I needed to get through this trial.  He put the people in place, the situations were prepared for me to be there, and the basic needs were always filled.  I don't want to wear you out with every single detail, but if you ever want to talk about things, please let me know.  I'm a better person than I was before.  A few pounds lighter-yea!  a few less body parts, a few more humbling experiences, but much stronger and more confident than before, and so much more grateful for you, life, home, family, and God.  Your prayers have been answered.  I don't know if cancer will visit me again, but the doctor told me that I was probably cured.  For today, I am happy, and that's all that matters anyway.  I found out that when you are at peace with yourself and God, you have what the world is searching for.  No amount of money or time can buy that.  I found peace at Hope Lodge, room 208.   Thank you friends and family for staying with me in my heart while I was there.  My last word to you is no matter what happens, take a positive attitude and embrace the experience and you will get through it.I love you all.Theresa