Figuring things out...maybe

I haven't slept well since Sunday. Or much at all....

I enjoyed the peace of being alone for a while...but today, I felt the pang of loneliness. 

Thinking about it.... I can't pinpoint any reason to miss him specifically. He played with my dog? He came to help when I got into an accident? 

Walks in the woods. 

He listened about my day.

He liked sci-fi.

He complimented me.

He tried to communicate about relationship issues once.

He tried to cook for me 3 times.

The list of things he never did, and worse the things he did do is much easier to write.

I felt more companionship when he didn't live here. Maybe he was just working his way in......

A random guy at the store was telling his friend "well its cheaper to keep her". I've heard that too many times before. Fuck a bunch of that. I've never needed a man, and I don't want a man that needs me. Is it always about money?" 99% of the time, yes."