fighting to stay positive

So far I have not done very well at my New Years Goals.  I have been Diet Coke free since New Years Day.  That is an accomplishment.  I was drinking to much soda.  My goal is to make it until the end of March.   I also feel as if I have failed at staying positive.  I wonder if when you say prayers God listens and gives you opportunities through challenges.  I survived the terrible sinus infection.  And feel tired.  I am sure my immune system is extra taxed after the meds.And I am sure that is why I am pooped out.  Then my back has been hurting a lot lately.  Today I could hardly get out of bed.  However, I made it to work.  Advil and stretching are helping.   The fatigue and pain make staying positive more of a challenge. Then I gave my husband the cold.  And as he is sick (not nearly as sick as I was) I think of how much worse I felt and get frustrated.  Sometimes It feels like when I am sick, he suddenly feels terrible to.  I feel selfish when I get irritated that when I let him know what I need he becomes a victim and gets sick to.  Maybe I am really just angry that I feel needy.  He does so many wonderful and helpful things.    It is hard to not judge where you are at physically and emotionally.  It is challenging to stay positive under the constant changes (minute to minute)  of this disease.   However, I don't have a choice.  I refuse to quit and let this disease win.  I am going to fight daily to take care of myself and stay as strong (physically and emotionally)