Fighting the fight

Now that I am armed with the proper coping skills I see that the erratic behavior I had towards myself was not at all what it should have been. It grew as I grew. I learned how to take control of it, and not let it control me. HTe beast inside sometimes as I call the depression wants to give up and just let me go let me die die die. But now No. Now I fight. I fight the symptoms with medication psycothearpy, my own thearpy. I do what I can to fight to survive to live another day. I like who I am now. I feel pain. I never did feel much pain when I was younger, because I was so depressed that causing my pain was a relief, because I thought it meant well I am alive, because I feel pain. I learned better ways to deal while in thearpy. It was group. It was a lot of negative behavior. But It was behavior I had to learn to change. I changed it. I needed to live. TO learn how with the proper and right skills. I learned to have them from the great teachers of people who have their masters, and degrees. I picked up everything I needed to learn growing up while a teenager in the mental ward. I got out and explored my freedom as a adult. At eighteen I was released, eventually got my own place, and really started to live. It's been twenty one years since I've hurt myself. I am so proud that I learned the proper skills. So I cn deal with life. And today I am indpendent, free and love my life.