fighting. eating.

AAAAAHHHHHH! Hubby and I got into a stupid fight today that, okay it was probably mostly my fault and though I'll never admit to it, it might possibly have something to do with hormones and my period.  I am rather touchy these past few days, very easily agitated over little things that shouldn't bother me.  I've never been the kind of girl who is cranky just becuase she's on her period.  But who knows these days....   Anyway, I did have some reason to be upset.  Here's the short version. Hubby: lets get two different half gallons of ice cream, becuase our son can't have any of this one with peanuts, so we have to get this other one without, so that he can have ice cream. Me:  We can't have that much ice cream in the house!!  I'll eat it all.  I'll shove it all in my mouth, having no control over what i'm doing.  I just wanted a single serving.... Hubby: You'll just have to learn not to eat it all. Alright.  Is that the picture of sensitvie, or what?  I mean, he doesn't know the extent of my food troubles, becuase I try to talk to him about my food obsession and my recent weight gain as little as possible.  I mean, he doesn't know I journal about it on a support site or anything like that.  But still, I got all mad at the store.  Became determined not to touch a bit of it.  Get home.  Eat two bowls.  ( i sneak the second so he doesn't see).  I hated myself after the first one, waited a bit till I wasn't so full, then i go and eat another!  I was really loathing me then.  And watching the Biggest Loser while doing it!  Not sure what my freaking problem is. I will take it day by day.  I can acheive small goals that I set, if I only allow myself to.  I have to believe in myself, really believe that I can keep these little promises to myself, then maybe I will.   Today, I will eat only fruits and veggies until dinner. That is my little promise to myself.  I will do it.  I am not lieing to myself, I really will do it.   I'm slightly more optimistic now, becuase even with the fighting and the binging, I've been able to crank out a rough prologue for the second novel.  I am quite happy with it, right now.  Being able to work is always good.  Makes me feel like I can actually acheive something. Yay.