Fighting

That word has meant so many things for me over the years....from literal physical fighting to arguments to fighting for my very survival. Today it means fighting for freedom, peace, joy, happiness, and a chance to really show my kids how blessed life can be. I feel like I'm winning the fight finally. 
I haven't really made any great strides in the physical realm...no magic solutions, no definitive plans made, but I can feel the hold, the fear, the anxiety slipping away a little more every single day. I can't even describe what it feels like. I'm not moving forward and barreling ahead as I normally do, so this should feel like I'm standing still. But I know that behind the scenes, within me and within my children something amazing is happening. And this time....for the first time in the nearly 14 years that I have been trying to escape this hell, I feel like this is for real. I'm recognizing that I've learned a lot about life, myself, and relationships. I've learned something and I feel like I've grown. 
So....Today is another snow day here. My plans for the day include preparing a fresh resume, getting rid of clothes and books and things that don't serve me anymore, spending time with my girls, and deciding on a destination for our fresh start. I'm also going to relax and just be.....for once in a long time, probably forever!