Fifth day of not smoking...now I realize how big I am..

So, I quit smoking 5 days ago.  Feel pretty good about that.  I started smoking when I was 11 and quit for 6 years at 19.  Well, at 25 I had a stressful job and went thru a divorce so needless to say, I went back to the old trusty friend.  Its been 11 yrs and I've been thinking alot lately (over the last few months) about quitting.  Pack after pack, I'd say this is the last one only to bring myself back up to the store and buy another pack or two.  Sunday nite at 9:30pm was my last cig.  I feel better.  Its still really hard.  I'm on the patch and alternate Adivan and Xanax for the anxiety and bitchiness.  Keep in mind, I only take 2 pills a day, I'm not on them all the time, just when i feel like I'm going to rip someone's head off here at work.  At home, I just want to sleep. Well, this morning I walked into the office.  Our office is completely surrounded by windows.  I sit against the far end completely surrounded by windows.  Well, it was dark out.  The lights on the inside of the building made mirrors out of the windows.  Here I was walking to my desk watching this HUGE thing walking closer.  Wow, I wabble...i'm HUGE.  Now, I know at 313 lbs and 5'4 body frame, I'm going to be huge, but in my mind, I am 200 lbs.   I feel like I'm trying to take things slow, but when I saw that, and then realize the clothes I have are so tight.  I literally look like the michelin man on those tire commercials. WOW!  So, no, it's not going to make me smoke, but I just have to realize that this isnt going to help itself.  I have to get out and start doing something.  This is rediculas. Well....maybe I will go for a walk when I get home if it's not raining.  IF I get moving, it will help me.   God Bless!