Fibromyalgia he gets, RA still not so much
So, it's been a while. About 14 months or so since the last entry. I had made that one private, but I'm not sure why, so I changed it today to public.
Things have changed, some days better, some still the same. I never got to the new Rheumy, long story. So I am still seeing the original one. I have a hate, hate, hate, maybe he is starting to understand me kind of relationship with him. My last visit he told me that he thinks it is time to start me on a Biologic. I won't have insurance until February 2013, so that is the intended start date.
He also told me, and I quote, "If I were a different Rheumatologist, I would diagnose you with Fibromyalgia, but I'm not going to do that. I know you have an autoimmune arthritis, but I don't know exactly which one I am treating you for. The bloodwork says RA, but I don't believe that has actually kicked in yet." Yeah me, I get to look forward to RA really kicking in some day, I can't wait...
When I told the Hubby (I'll call him that, neither of us is going anywhere, but neither of us is in any hurry to get married. We own a home together and know that this is forever, I Love him with all my heart.) about what the Doc said, he agreed that Fibro makes sense.
I get frustrated because he gets Fibro, RA still not so much. And why does he get Fibro? Because some lady that he played an online game with a year or so ago had it and said that she couldn't work because of the pain. So Fibro was validated by someone that he had never met in person, but knew online. Yep, that's a good reason.
What about the lady that he lives with everyday? The one that he watches struggle to get things accomplished? The one that gets up almost 2 hours before she has to get in a shower to go to work, because out of bed and into the shower is not an option, it takes some time to start moving? The one that he just looks at sometimes and says your having a bad day today, I can see it in your face?
I don't question that he knows that I hurt. He is very compassionate and understanding of my limitations. He gets frustrated sometimes, but hell, so do I.
I just wish he could look at me, at who I have become in the last year and a half, and remember who I was before all this started, and know that there is a reason for it. I want him to get it because he lives it everyday, not because an online friend said so.
Sorry, I was interrupted, and have now lost my train of thought. Surprise, surprise...
Love,
Me
Things have changed, some days better, some still the same. I never got to the new Rheumy, long story. So I am still seeing the original one. I have a hate, hate, hate, maybe he is starting to understand me kind of relationship with him. My last visit he told me that he thinks it is time to start me on a Biologic. I won't have insurance until February 2013, so that is the intended start date.
He also told me, and I quote, "If I were a different Rheumatologist, I would diagnose you with Fibromyalgia, but I'm not going to do that. I know you have an autoimmune arthritis, but I don't know exactly which one I am treating you for. The bloodwork says RA, but I don't believe that has actually kicked in yet." Yeah me, I get to look forward to RA really kicking in some day, I can't wait...
When I told the Hubby (I'll call him that, neither of us is going anywhere, but neither of us is in any hurry to get married. We own a home together and know that this is forever, I Love him with all my heart.) about what the Doc said, he agreed that Fibro makes sense.
I get frustrated because he gets Fibro, RA still not so much. And why does he get Fibro? Because some lady that he played an online game with a year or so ago had it and said that she couldn't work because of the pain. So Fibro was validated by someone that he had never met in person, but knew online. Yep, that's a good reason.
What about the lady that he lives with everyday? The one that he watches struggle to get things accomplished? The one that gets up almost 2 hours before she has to get in a shower to go to work, because out of bed and into the shower is not an option, it takes some time to start moving? The one that he just looks at sometimes and says your having a bad day today, I can see it in your face?
I don't question that he knows that I hurt. He is very compassionate and understanding of my limitations. He gets frustrated sometimes, but hell, so do I.
I just wish he could look at me, at who I have become in the last year and a half, and remember who I was before all this started, and know that there is a reason for it. I want him to get it because he lives it everyday, not because an online friend said so.
Sorry, I was interrupted, and have now lost my train of thought. Surprise, surprise...
Love,
Me
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