fiance and frustration!!

Very frustrated today...it's been a long time ince I was out here and I don't even know if any of my old friends are out here any more...I have been seeing this incredible woman for almost 3 years, we just got engaged in December and I love her so much but we just seem to not communicate mentally all the time. She has quite a few medical and emotional issues and I want to help both of us with both of our emotional issues. We both talk about the physical side of our relationship but there have been some issues there in the past and I feel like she hasn't moved on from them. She has difficulty moving on and letting go of the past hurts. She has been hurt by almost every man in her life before me and I know we have had our issues as well...I just don't know what to do to help her to help us. I have made it known that I want to go to counseling with her to help her and me and us...I need her to make the appt because my insurance is like 10 times more expensive than mine! She still hasn't done it. I am starting to question my choices...I love being with her, she is amazing but there are issues we have to work out before we get married and I don't know how to get there. Like tonight...I come home early from work...I tell her I got my boss to let me go early so I could come home and be with her for Valentines day...well...we had been chatting through email all day and had pretty much indirectly talked about what we both wanted...then she texted me on my phone and told me a few rather direct comments which I responded to positively...then I get home after making a side triip for her to get a special treat of some Culvers sundae's...and she's in her sweatpants, a t-shirt and sweatshirt!!!! She never does anything like dress sexy for me any more...she hasn't done anything like that for over a year. I hint at it occasionally but she never "thinks" about it. I have tried to help her understand I am a physical person and she used to be...I don't know how to get back there. She was insatiable...but then we had some challenges with me and stress and a new job and a bad boss and long hours...and had a little bit of a dry spell and he shut down...now she can't rev back up even though I am...She rarely starts anything...and I get tired and quite frankly bored with starting it all the time. I want to be wanted not just giving giving giving and doing doing doing all the time...I have tried to explain this gently and she does get it but yet she doesn't act. I dont know what to do...I m frustrated and confused...