Few thoughts...
I love writing here, you all write such great responses and it's always great to have support and 2nd opinions on here =)
Im currently sitting down to some Berry tea... It's the closest thing to Rasberry tea Liz on the Endo support group told me of to help with Endo - normally I'm really against herbal tea, hate the taste etc but this one is really really nice and alot lighter to drink of the morning in replacement of coffee!
I'm going well with my uni work I think.. Im ahead because im so fearful of falling behind.. this week I will have all my uni assignments up to date untill others are due in May and early June! Im looking forward to getting readings etc done as well, so I can semi start on uni work before my parents visit for a week and have everything really up to date. I try and study from 8.30-9 untill 11.30-12 and then from 1-3 or so. I get up early so I can do things like check DS and my emails, facebook etc.
Next semester I'm only enrolled in part time units with distance education and my university I applied to here made my defferal for 12 months instead of the requested 6 =( because my course cannot be deffered for 6 months! =( It wasnt the course I wanted but I thought it would help with me being more social and confident. My only options now are go part time or try and find 1 more unit to do that doesnt require me travelling interstate OR apply mid year for a different degree in hope of transferring next year or taking up my other course next year... OR..Go part time, and get a casual job, or just deffer it all and get a job for 6 months to earn some money and know the area I am in better... I guess I should look at it as I DO have options it's not like I have nothing I can do. I guess I'm still beating myself up over the fact I just couldnt have a smooth transition to university - but I guess you can't always get what you want right?
I see my psychologist this week - I told her last week I do alot of comparing myself to other people - would I be as good as so and so etc. She told me it's because I dont trust my own decisions/I'm so up and down, so I look at other people to validate what I do which is very true!
I just can't seem to shake this feeling of uselessness I have bestowed upon myself - no one else fuels it but my own inability to accept who I am and that really isnt a bad person..Im giving, caring, understanding, I listen, laugh, have fun. I'm young, should be carefree, have the world at my feet! Im really in the position to make mistakes and have the time to correct them, but failure I FEAR...
I'm just going to work at one year at a time...Just for now anyway.
Im currently sitting down to some Berry tea... It's the closest thing to Rasberry tea Liz on the Endo support group told me of to help with Endo - normally I'm really against herbal tea, hate the taste etc but this one is really really nice and alot lighter to drink of the morning in replacement of coffee!
I'm going well with my uni work I think.. Im ahead because im so fearful of falling behind.. this week I will have all my uni assignments up to date untill others are due in May and early June! Im looking forward to getting readings etc done as well, so I can semi start on uni work before my parents visit for a week and have everything really up to date. I try and study from 8.30-9 untill 11.30-12 and then from 1-3 or so. I get up early so I can do things like check DS and my emails, facebook etc.
Next semester I'm only enrolled in part time units with distance education and my university I applied to here made my defferal for 12 months instead of the requested 6 =( because my course cannot be deffered for 6 months! =( It wasnt the course I wanted but I thought it would help with me being more social and confident. My only options now are go part time or try and find 1 more unit to do that doesnt require me travelling interstate OR apply mid year for a different degree in hope of transferring next year or taking up my other course next year... OR..Go part time, and get a casual job, or just deffer it all and get a job for 6 months to earn some money and know the area I am in better... I guess I should look at it as I DO have options it's not like I have nothing I can do. I guess I'm still beating myself up over the fact I just couldnt have a smooth transition to university - but I guess you can't always get what you want right?
I see my psychologist this week - I told her last week I do alot of comparing myself to other people - would I be as good as so and so etc. She told me it's because I dont trust my own decisions/I'm so up and down, so I look at other people to validate what I do which is very true!
I just can't seem to shake this feeling of uselessness I have bestowed upon myself - no one else fuels it but my own inability to accept who I am and that really isnt a bad person..Im giving, caring, understanding, I listen, laugh, have fun. I'm young, should be carefree, have the world at my feet! Im really in the position to make mistakes and have the time to correct them, but failure I FEAR...
I'm just going to work at one year at a time...Just for now anyway.
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