FET Tomorrow & Fight with DH!
Thank you all for your kind words (as always!) on my last journal entry. So my third (and probably last) FET is scheduled for tomorrow at noon. This time they have me taking baby aspirin and talked about lovenox, but decided against it. I am going to ask about prednizone (thanks, Alana). I haven't been taking estrace with my FETs, just progesterone, since I do not do well with synthetic estrogen but I'm wondering if maybe this time i should take it, it would only be a few weeks probably? IF is so confusing, I just don't know what the "right" protocol is to make this work and I worry maybe there just isn't any.
So in other news...DH and I got into a small argument last night. Of course its IF related. He has 2 doctor appts during the time of my transfer, and one he has already rescheduled 4 times. When I told him about the transfer date (we both thought it would be Thurs or Fri), he was annoyed and we got into it. I yelled at him that he has a lot of nerve feeling so inconvenienced when I'm the freaking one who has to deal with 90% of this shit! I told him he was being unsupportive and he got pretty mad since he usually is pretty supportive. Then he told me that he doesn't get why he needs to be there - they don't let him in the room and he just sits in the waiting room bored out of his mind. WTF!? I started crying and told him it's not just a "procedure" that its very emotional and its nice to have comfort of knowing he's there to give me a hug and drive me home afterwards. We went to be angry (I know, never a good idea) and we're both still upset. Men.....they just don't get it sometimes....how can he think its just another "procedure"!?!? Now I'm stuck going alone (again) and having to take a cab home. Just what I want to do after this. Aaarrgh!!! thanks for reading if you made it this far :)
So in other news...DH and I got into a small argument last night. Of course its IF related. He has 2 doctor appts during the time of my transfer, and one he has already rescheduled 4 times. When I told him about the transfer date (we both thought it would be Thurs or Fri), he was annoyed and we got into it. I yelled at him that he has a lot of nerve feeling so inconvenienced when I'm the freaking one who has to deal with 90% of this shit! I told him he was being unsupportive and he got pretty mad since he usually is pretty supportive. Then he told me that he doesn't get why he needs to be there - they don't let him in the room and he just sits in the waiting room bored out of his mind. WTF!? I started crying and told him it's not just a "procedure" that its very emotional and its nice to have comfort of knowing he's there to give me a hug and drive me home afterwards. We went to be angry (I know, never a good idea) and we're both still upset. Men.....they just don't get it sometimes....how can he think its just another "procedure"!?!? Now I'm stuck going alone (again) and having to take a cab home. Just what I want to do after this. Aaarrgh!!! thanks for reading if you made it this far :)
Replies
I am glad you have your scheduled time, sorry that it made you and DH fight! My Dr. told me that you take estrace or estrogen from day 1 of your period to help your lining but you are already at the point of transfer so I am guessing you will not need estrace at all. Definitely will need the progesterone, that\'s seems to be a given with any transfer. I hope you and DH can talk it through tonight, going to bed mad sucks! I\'m sorry he can\'t be there tomorrow, I totally get it. My DH was only there for my 1st transfer, but not my second. I brought my mom because emotional support is so important! Maybe he will still come through! Will be thinking of you tomorrow, best of luck! xo
oh no..so sorry about the fight!! But I hear ya, and have been there done that numerous times. We always go to bed angry because DH always says he\'s capable of waking up to a new day and leaving it behind him. But i\'m not! I\'m so sorry you have to go alone, I wish I could be there for you! I have taken estrace and I took it starting the day of my retrieval so it was 3-5 days before transfer, in my case 5. So if you\'re transferring tomorrow, it might be al ittle late for the estrace tow ork anyways, but you can always ask. If it only takes a few days to start working, it\'s possible it could make a difference before the embies would actually stick . Good luck tomorrow, I\'ll be thinking of you! P.S. Ask for an extra valium so you can forget about being mad at DH ;-)
IF always seems to bring out the worst, especially during some of the more sensitive and emotional times. I wish I could be there tomorrow to give you a big hug!!! I\'ll be thinking about you for sure :)
XOXO
Good luck on the transfer!! Don\'t worry about DH, he\'ll come around. I think sometimes the guys want to treat all of this as no big deal, so that they aren\'t as hurt by it when it doesn\'t work. It\'s a way to build a wall to keep from being so disappointed. It\'s hard for them, because they feel a lot of the same things we do about all of this, but they really have no outlet to get rid of it, because men feel weak when they talk about their feelings. It\'s stupid, but it\'s men. Whatcha gonna do? Y\'all will get through it. Love and hugs!
It would probably be different for him if they let him in the room. My DH was allowed to be right there with me, watching the magic happen on the screen during my transfer. Sorry the emotions were running high between you guys, but hopefully this last one will be the one that counts and you will be able to look back on all this and make a joke about it. Try your best to relax and think sticky baby thoughts. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!!! Good luck!!!
Hope it went well today. Sorry DH and you got into an argument. IF brings out the worst and men are sometimes too darn practical and non-emotional about it all. As far as protocol, I know it\'s confusing but you have to sometimes leave it to your doctor. I mean, educate yourself, but also trust that he is doing all he can to make it a success. I know the Lovenox is a blood thinner and women have had success with it.
I was on estrace, baby asprin and progesterone until about 10 weeks of pregnancy. This is all preventative care since you can miscarry if you have an unknown problem arise like a clotting disorder or drop in hormones that aren\'t caught right away. I\'m sure your doctor is tailoring to your specific needs. This obviously was the right plan for me lol. I\'m sorry about the fight with dh. I almost had to go alone and I felt a little uncomfortable about it. Dh ended up being able to get off work after all. I think it is hard for them to understand why it\'s emotional and we want them there. I don\'t think they see what a support they are... I mean they aren\'t even allowed in the room so they probably feel helpless. You\'re in a really intense time right now. Just forgive even if you feel you\'re in the right. It will make this process go smoother. Best wishes this is the one !!!!
Seems like alot of our DH\'s are back to being DB\'s lately. It\'s just not the same for them. Not that I wish this misery on anyone, but it would be nice if the hubby\'s could walk in our shoes for a week or so and see what a headgame IF plays on us. Sometimes, a hug, or some statement of reassurance is all we need to get through the day. My DH says things like \"it is what it is\".........which really pisses me off. Anyways, back to you! I am happy for your FET tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this one. Look at our friend Alana, who has perservered after several IVF\'s. It is possible and I have hope for you. Hope you can relax and that all goes well tomorrow. Lots of love! xoxo
Lost of luck on your FET tomorrow HopefulinNYC! *HUG!
We are all here in DS land cheering you on. I\'m so sorry it\'s causing contention with your hubby. Sometimes schedules just don\'t sync up and that can be very stressful and frustrating for both sides. I hope you guys can mend a little bit before then. I know for myself I am always impractical and highly irrational because of all the fertility meds I have pumped into my body for the lead up to a transfer. I am surprised they don\'t let your hubby be in the room with you thats a bit odd. I have never heard of that being a policy before... No matter what though I am praying for a giant positive success story for you friend. Keep us posted.
I am so sorry you had a fight with your DH. It is true, men just don\'t get it. This is an extremely emotional hard time. And you are very brave to be going alone. I am sorry he won\'t be there for you.
I know you are strong though, so I know you can do this without him. Try to focus on you for now and forget about him. You need I be as relaxed as possible for tomorrow. There are great infertility meditation tapes on iTunes by bellaruth Nazareth. They may be worth listening to after transfer. My other suggestion is some calming music.
I think adding the baby asprin is a great idea and talk to your RE about he prednisone. Some agree with it, some don\'t. Out of my six IVFs I used it on three. Those three resulted in two chemical pregnancies, and this current successful BFP, the three cycles I did not take it were all BFNs. Honestly I don\'t know if it is what did the trick but I am glad I did it with the last cycle.
I am wishing you the best of luck tomorrow. My fingers and toes are crossed. I really really want this for you.
Sorry for that fight hon!! IF is so much pressure! I cant even count how many times me and DH have fought before important appts!! Sending lot of luck with you tomorrow!! Hope it goes smoothly!! XO
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I really am certain they kept the best for last. Sorry about the fight. Men really don\'t get it sometime. It sucks that we already have to deal with IF, I\'m sure you\'d like him there when they get you PUPO. I\'m sure your RE will considere all the meds that up your chances at a BFP. Take care of yourself and try to stay relaxed.
Big hugs
Good luck with your FET tomorrow!!! I\'ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you...and my toes and I\'ll make my dogs and cat cross their paws too. I took prednisone as part of my IVF protocol and I did aspirin for a while too. Sorry about the argument too - men just really don\'t understand. My husband kept saying that he would be ok if we never had a kid. Like that\'s what I needed to hear. No one gets this til they\'ve walked in our shoes. Again - best of luck tomorrow! Looks like you have people pulling for you all around the country!!!
Sorry about the fight with DH. Been there many of times and its frustrating! Our last FET, DH didn\'t even want to watch screen of our embryo going in because we were only able to transfer 1 out if 2 because 1 didn\'t develop and he was pissed! Ugh. Will be thinking of you tomorrow! xoxo