FET Today. Feeling Blah
First off, I want to thank you for all the hugs and good wishes! I was so touched when I logged on today and am always so grateful for all your support.
I had my second FET today. We transferred 2 embies. RE said they look "great" and that my uterus looks "great". Sadly, I feel so jaded right now that all I heard was blah blah. Yeah, well, last time I heard the same things and yet I got a BFN. I'm kinda at the point where I'm tired of hearing that everything looks so great, etc. yet my age is what is preventing a BFP. I know I'm AMA (ugh, how I hate that term) but I still feel like how can we keep blaming all this TTC failure on age? I mean, can't it be something else?? I feel like if it was age, then wouldn't the embies implant and I would miscarry? I am having a bad time with this right now. I am not feeling very confident about this FET or getting pregnant, and with each FET, my chances are slipping away. I have one more shot at this if this one doesn't work and I'm not sure I can handle that. I am pissed off that I am robbed of the feeling that so many women get when TTC and get pregnant so easily....it's like us IF gals worry, worry, worry and we don't seem to really get to enjoy the process that other women do. In case you couldn't tell, I'm super cranky, pissy, annoyed and sad today. Wish I felt better on transfer day, but I just don't. I was thinking how today is the anniversary of the day DH proposed to me - ironic how that day was a happy day and yet today, not so much. I would love to think it is a sign but at this point, I am too jaded and I know better :(
I decided to take the next few days to work from home, just to know that I'm doing all I can to help these embies stick. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I will be shocked if I get a BFP.
Hoping you are all in much better moods than I am! For those of you struggling, praying your struggles ease up and you get some good news and feel well soon.
Thinking of you all xoxo
I had my second FET today. We transferred 2 embies. RE said they look "great" and that my uterus looks "great". Sadly, I feel so jaded right now that all I heard was blah blah. Yeah, well, last time I heard the same things and yet I got a BFN. I'm kinda at the point where I'm tired of hearing that everything looks so great, etc. yet my age is what is preventing a BFP. I know I'm AMA (ugh, how I hate that term) but I still feel like how can we keep blaming all this TTC failure on age? I mean, can't it be something else?? I feel like if it was age, then wouldn't the embies implant and I would miscarry? I am having a bad time with this right now. I am not feeling very confident about this FET or getting pregnant, and with each FET, my chances are slipping away. I have one more shot at this if this one doesn't work and I'm not sure I can handle that. I am pissed off that I am robbed of the feeling that so many women get when TTC and get pregnant so easily....it's like us IF gals worry, worry, worry and we don't seem to really get to enjoy the process that other women do. In case you couldn't tell, I'm super cranky, pissy, annoyed and sad today. Wish I felt better on transfer day, but I just don't. I was thinking how today is the anniversary of the day DH proposed to me - ironic how that day was a happy day and yet today, not so much. I would love to think it is a sign but at this point, I am too jaded and I know better :(
I decided to take the next few days to work from home, just to know that I'm doing all I can to help these embies stick. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I will be shocked if I get a BFP.
Hoping you are all in much better moods than I am! For those of you struggling, praying your struggles ease up and you get some good news and feel well soon.
Thinking of you all xoxo
Replies
My fingers are crossed for you. I know that sinking feeling but I have to believe it will work for you. I\'m sending baby dust to your belly. Stick embies stick!!!!
I really hate what IF has turned us all into too. I know I don\'t know you in \"real life\", but I know I\'m right when I say you are a good person, someone who is always positive and hopeful and kind and happy. Just a good soul! I just know it, and then IF came and month by month it just tears you down. I am praying so hard for you and I hope those embies implant and stick for 9months and you no longer have to deal with all this pain and worrying. Good luck!! Xo
I\'m sorry that you\'re feeling blah today. I actually think that\'s quite normal to feel that way the day of...it\'s like we get our hopes up time and time again and get let down. I think it\'s just a way of protecting yourself from getting hurt because you know if you let yourself get excited then there could be even worse disappointment. I felt the same way the day of my IUI,but once you go through it, you\'ll have a glimmer of hope again in your heart. Try to keep that as long as you can! ((HUGS))
I am really hoping this time works for you! It\'s funny, I have been on so many meds and done so many procedures over the last 2+ years, I barely remember what it feels like to just be me. I hope you feel better soon. You\'ll be in my thoughts.
It\'s hard to stay positive after such a recent fail. It\'s aldo hard to know why sone cycles work sone don\'t, how a b quality egg will bring a BFP and a grade A sonetimes doesn\'t.
I still think you wi beat the odds. The meds have a way of making us crazy and taking all hope away.
Sending you good vibes, your PUPO ! Congrats.
I know it\'s so hard to stay positive, IF makes this all so freaking difficult. I have felt like you so often, why are we robbed of this feeling when so many others are not? Sucks feeling this way! With that said, I am still praying this is your cycle that will get the job done!! I hope your TWW won\'t drive you crazy and that you will the best outcome!!! xo
Hoping for the best! While you rest, talk to your little beans! Stay focus on the goal, I pray this is your time! XOXO
I hope this time sticks! Thinking of you!
I can totally relate to what you are feeling about being blah. My second (and final) FET is later in August and I know I will be feeling the same way. Try to stay positive and I hope this works for you!! Congrats on being PUPO! Cheer up!
I\'m so sorry that IF has left you feeling so defeated, but I know that we can all relate to that :/ I think what you are feeling is completely normal and possibly even a defense mechanism that we all have to guard our hearts from the pain and hurt we have felt month after month. So while you\'re working from home, take time to be kind to yourself and let us be your cheerleaders for now!
Wishin, hopin and prayin that your BFP is just a couple weeks away!
((HUGS))
Chin up there is still hope, try not to focus on AMA (HATE that disgusting lable too!!) and instead try to focus on the \"possibly maybe\" of a BFP!! Good luck!! XO
I hope this is it for you! I know how extremely hard it can be to stay positive. But, hang in there..miracles happen every day! xoxo
I definitely get you on the blah feeling. Hey, you are successful in getting this far, which is an accomplishment in itself in my book! Wishing you lots of sticky baby dust for the next 9 months. :)
I hate it when we can\'t be positive about a cycle, but you cannot give up hope. Try to stay positive and calm, and remember I was 40 when I got my BFP!