Feral Cat Disorder
I want to give my ADHD..,etc (whatever the flavour of this decade is 'called') a new name, because I always feel misunderstood & quite frankly don't even want to fit in to this FUCKED UP societies' expectations! It seems that 'the EXPERTS' themselves, can't even make up their minds what to label these 'disorders'.
This morning my cats wanted to go outside & when I opened the door, I felt envious of them; being accepted as cats and needing fresh air(& GETTING IT!) Bet, nobody ever said: 'But you can't have your cake & eat it too!' to them. I know the grumpy look my semi, used-to-be feral cat would have on her face! I THINK she is so precious! Nobody thinks that about me, I AM SURE, but WTF! SHOULD I CARE? Is it really so neccessary for other peoples' existence that I 'FIT IN'? I feel like a rabid, trapped cat in a cage and just wish NOT to have-to be like everyone else, I DO NOT WANT TO BE A SHEEP, and being a self-proclaimed black one isn't even good enough, if it has to stay in the confines of a pen, within flock! My 'anxiety' gets so high, I feel like I will burst from the inside-out. What I really NEED literally & simply is fresh air & space to move, not a manufactured existence. I do not like the city, so being outdoors, in the high-rise construction industry is as 'good as it gets'. I understand that a mature adult has to conform(somewhat) in order to stay employed & out of jail lol. So really, I actually am greatful for this 'disorder' & don't really want to change it. I think it would kill me to work indoors (in an office or Wallmart/Safeway/or worse: a mall/retail fashion store) And obviously not being sweet and subservient has actually helped me in the construction industry, because being sweet & subservient really won't get you too far, just taken advantage of anyways; I feel much better to get some ranting done. When I was done, it did actually feel better & it helped motivate me to go on a out-of-town daytrip to be in the sun & fresh air (:
This morning my cats wanted to go outside & when I opened the door, I felt envious of them; being accepted as cats and needing fresh air(& GETTING IT!) Bet, nobody ever said: 'But you can't have your cake & eat it too!' to them. I know the grumpy look my semi, used-to-be feral cat would have on her face! I THINK she is so precious! Nobody thinks that about me, I AM SURE, but WTF! SHOULD I CARE? Is it really so neccessary for other peoples' existence that I 'FIT IN'? I feel like a rabid, trapped cat in a cage and just wish NOT to have-to be like everyone else, I DO NOT WANT TO BE A SHEEP, and being a self-proclaimed black one isn't even good enough, if it has to stay in the confines of a pen, within flock! My 'anxiety' gets so high, I feel like I will burst from the inside-out. What I really NEED literally & simply is fresh air & space to move, not a manufactured existence. I do not like the city, so being outdoors, in the high-rise construction industry is as 'good as it gets'. I understand that a mature adult has to conform(somewhat) in order to stay employed & out of jail lol. So really, I actually am greatful for this 'disorder' & don't really want to change it. I think it would kill me to work indoors (in an office or Wallmart/Safeway/or worse: a mall/retail fashion store) And obviously not being sweet and subservient has actually helped me in the construction industry, because being sweet & subservient really won't get you too far, just taken advantage of anyways; I feel much better to get some ranting done. When I was done, it did actually feel better & it helped motivate me to go on a out-of-town daytrip to be in the sun & fresh air (:
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