felt suicidal for 2 weeks

Stabbed in the back for being me, rejected, broke, fighting with husband, kids going nuts, can't pay bills, feel ugly and poor...depressed. thank God I have an excuse for terrible thoughts about myself....depression is doing it ...not me.  I only stayed under the covers for 2 hours today hiding from life. I got dressed and did full makeup hair, and wore a happy colour  yellow not black with a turquise scarf with stars and my cool jeans. thank God they still fit. I don't know whether thats good or bad Well, the shrink is waiting for me..................................  I will wear my black leather for protection...as I have since I was 17.........................................................................................................................