feels like yesterday
So I spend the day reliving mom's last day with us and i was a mess. My three year old consoling me saying "it's ok mama"..... I hope he doesn't remember me sad all the time. It will be a year on Thursday, but she died on Tuesday last year and I could just feel the pain in my chest and all I kept thinking is that I should be honoring her with smiles and good feelings and I am just sad and alone. My husband is trying so hard to be here and to talk to me but I just can't get out all my feelings. I am not sure why.... Well, my kids have 1/2 days today, tomorrow and friday, so I will be quite busy with them to get lost in my thoughts. Tomorrow iwll be difficult I am sure, going to her mass and then to the cemetary with whoever shows up. I am going to try and have a good day today.... its' all I can do for now. I hope everyone is doing OK, sorry I am such a downer but I figure this is where I can be open the most. Thank you for your support! have a great day!!
Replies
Oh friend, I am so sorry my internet was down...Great big, warm, safe hugs for you. I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Try and remember the wonderful times and allow yourself to be \"lost\" in the warm wonderful memories and not so much in the ending. Remember that her legacy is the family that she loves so much, and that will go on... I know it is very difficult, and my oldest was 3 and youngest 18 months when my best friend was a police officer killed in the line of duty...I played her favorite song \" I believe the children are the future\" over and over and cried...my kids definately remember that. But you are being real and they will know how much your Mom means to you. You will be very busy over the next few days...but you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.I wish I could be there with you.
When you go to the cemetary...try to remember that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord...so your wonderful Mom is and has been with the Father. As you think about it...try and let yourself know...the cemetary is a place for you to remember, but she is not there...she is now in a happy place where there is no pain, no cancer, just happiness and joy and that one day when it is your turn... you will be with her again in that warm, happy, peaceful place. Hugs, Love, and Prayers,
Sandi
Hi my friend, I too am coming up on my wifes 1 year anniversary. I miss her more each day and yet I know she is fine and in Gods graces. Her last 2 years were very hard and painful so I do get some peace in knowing she isn\'t suffering any more. May God watch over you at this time in your journey of life and give you peace and strength to carry on and allow you to remember the good and positive things that make you smile. Your mom is looking down on you and doesn\'t want to cause you any pain. Close your eyes and feel her laughter, her smile and her embrace. She is with you my friend just as Dani is with me. May God bless you and all you undertake.
Gary