Feels like I am pushing
Ok so I went to work yesterday evening. I got myself out of the house and went in. I had not even fully gotten into the building when I felt like I was going to have a panic attack or breakdown or something. I am pushing myself only because I am needing the money. It is like pure torcher. My mother said it will do you good to get back to work but she doesn't understand where I am at in my head. I stayed for the whole shift and came home. I had to go back in for a while during the night to deal with an issue with an employee. I don't believe I should even be behind the wheel right now much less dealing with employees. I am extremely tired today from just the effort of pushing through yesterday. I feel extremely aggitated or on edge today. I don't know what to do because I feel like I HAVE to go to work to support myself and my kid but I feel like it is also 'killing' me to do it. That is tearing me apart. If things get worse tonight I think I will just take myself to the hospital. I guess I am just ranting here. Not sure what to do from now.
Replies
hang in there, its not nice i know, but we are strong and somehow we keep on keeping on regardless, got anything to take for the aniety? i\'ve now got largactil, its called something else there but you can still look it up, plus i\'ve got valiums just so i dont completly lose it, walking helps but would be difficult for you as your busy working, loud music is another one off my get me out of this head space thing to do, i plug in the headphones and play songs just dont make them all the same mood shift from mad,sad,angry to uplifting, i sit on my excersice ball when i do that. i hope that some of what i\'ve given you is of use . i really wanted you to know i know where your coming from and that your not alone in this. take care HUGS