feelings suck
I just cant stop feeling sad. The idea that my bf is really going to move out is just too much for my anxiety and my panic and my life. Its been 4 years, 2 living together. I really believed if i loved him enough that i could make him happy. And i guess that isnt enough. I just keep trying everything i can to make things smooth so he is happy but nothing works. he is just unhappy. And its not easy for him either. He doesnt want to leave bc he knows that if he does he will lose me and he doesnt want to but he cant keep going on like this bc its unfair to me. I keep trying to be this positive person the last week or 2 but i cant. I cant pretend nothing is wrong which is what he wants to do. He keeps trying to just leave it alone and go on this way. I cant sleep i am exhausted. My body hurts. I feel like a panic attack is going to come on any moment. Everything is a mess.
Replies
Oh Diane! I wish you could see this situation in a different way. I know how much pain you are feeling. I have been there, and it is awful to experience. People can only give what they are capable of. We can love them to the moon and back, but if they aren't open to receiving that love from us then the situation is at a stalemate. No amount of love, walking on eggshells, bending over backwards to accommodate, is not going to make someone behave and feel what we wish them to. It sucks, but there it is. This relationship situation you are going through is impacting your health, both physically and mentally, and that is not good for you. You have think of yourself now. This has evolved into something that you cannot fix, no matter hard you want it to work out. Be strong. Please be kind to yourself.
...hugs! So sorry, Diane. I've swam through stirred up waters before. You will too! Just stay believing in yourself, stay positive too. We don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Yet try not to jump to conclusions for now. I hope that his attitude is good and that there is no strong criticism to deal with. Sometimes it's just pride and ego in the way. I hope peace to both of you!