feelings oooh feelings

I'm feeling not so happy. Woke up with dreams about fears and suicidal thoughts. I asked my partner if he felt he could tell me anything about areas of our sexuality - he just got defensive and angry mooded. He said that he feels i'm suspicious of him - but that kind of response is what makes me suspicious doesn't he bloody f'ing see!!! Anyway, I've work coming out my ears. I've a research proposal due tommorrow I haven't started and I have to work a shift tommorrow that I'm meant to have quit. I've an in service to do tues.I've got little time and such avoidance and depression issues. I'm struggling here!!!!  I want to go out shopping and just forget I've all this stuff. I dont' feel like I've got it in me to write any more stinking papers. I barely passed one similar subject last term and the continued unit i'm doing this term is making me really nervous. I don't really understand it. It's too late to get an extension. I'm miserable today...