feelings for today ( so far)

well, i finally managed too get too sleep at 4.30am
i just couldnt sleep, i think things were really weighing me down!
i woke up too a text from my special boy, which put a really big smile on my face :)
but then i kinda came back down too earth, kind of thought " oh im still alive"
i really dont know where my heads at anymore, i really dont.
my heads so confused, i feel so isolated, so let down, so worthless, fat, ugly, i feel like im nothing.
the only person thats keeping me going is my special boy!
i really miss our conversations it feels so weird!
not long now until i can talk too him :)