feeling worthless

Have been feeling this way for quite sometime now,mostly it concerns guilt,which tends to haunt me at every opportunity.I guess it stems from a religious upbringing which although has kept me in good stead in some respects,it does tend to add to my problems.I even feel guilty writing this.........But....it has to be said that maybe its the way I approach things and my paranoia that is hampering my progress in many areas.Just wish I could be more together as a person,able to cope with all lifes conflicts and not get so bogged down with what is expected of me.Im exhausted mentally and think this must be what a mental breakdown feels like but have heard there is no such thing....Since haing lost quite alot of weight I have noticed my personality has changed a bit,maybe thats it.....I cant cope with criticism or rejection and do not trust anyone as often get let down by people,no mkatter how good they seem at first.Ive sacrificed alot of my young days to looking after others,never thinking that I deserve a life of happiness as Im sure I dont deserve it.now I feel unfulfilled and lost saddled with diabetes and complications that go with it,only bad days ahead of ill health to look forward to......Sorry if this all sounds self centered as I well know there are others far worse off than me....but there it is warts and all as they say....