Feeling unwanted

Moved in with M in the end of August. Since then much has happened. I am now about to give light to another addition to the family. Only a couple weeks into the new living situation I found his cell bill and found out the whole time during my pregnancy even when he supposedly changed his number he was still talking to his ex. I had made it clear many times how I has felt about that and despite of the feeling he was hiding something he would flat out lie to me and say he wasn't talking to her. What is most hurtful is he would constantly dial her number to talk to her and would even call her on special days like valentines and our anniversary I mean who does that. He admitted to lying to me and said he didn't know why he had done it that it was stupid. I admit I was hurt. I wanted out. If I would have known the truth it would have given me a fair chance of deciding if I wanted to be with him or move forward. I most likely would have chosen another path. I wouldn't have gotten pregnant to bear him a child he so much wants and I wouldn't have been going thru this hell I am now. He set me up on false pretenses and can never forgive him for that. Now I am stuck here living w/him no where to go no money saved no more love to give no love even for myself. That past and I then found porn on his computer. The first time he said he planted it in there so I would find it cuz I had been snoopy. Which is bs cuz the temp files with porn go back a ways it wasn't just recent. Then another week later I go in again on Halloween night he was looking at stuff again. This time he deleted the history but failed to delete the internet temp files. He continues to deny it and says he don't like looking at that stuff. Bs if u don't like looking at that then y is it on the damn computer? The last few months of this pregnancy have been a nightmare. He is such a lier and a good one at that. The part that hurts most is here I am in a situation he falsely put me in with now way out! I am bearing his child going thru hell with pain discomfort putting my body thru some hell while he is online looking at that porn chit. Oh come to find out he is into very thick black women. Well now I know why he didn't give up his ties to his ex. Every time I confront him about it he refuses to tell the truth and gets very defensive. Now today the spring in the door broke for the 2nd time. I had already yelled at the boys for not shutting it right and then he comes home and yells at me. I find it so ironic how he don't like me to yell at him for his dumb chit that ruins our relationship and family but he can get angry about a door? I mean u can fix a door but can you fix loosing ur family or the trust u have lost with me. I told him if its to much for is to be here then he needs to tell me. Is it me or is this crazy? I have lost alot in this relationship. I have lost my self esteem, my confidence, luv for myself, trust, respect, most importantly I lost the opportunity to make a fair decision about my life because he lied to me! Had I known the truth I would have walked away n went another path. Now I am stuck, with a heart full of hurt and resentment waiting for god to reach out to me.