Feeling ugly

So last nite I couldn't sleep. I had a talk with my dad and brother. my dad asked if I wanted to die after I explained how I felt for a long time. So last nite I thought of the girl I envied back in high school. Yeah that shows how much I've matured! I thought that she's like 95 lbs she just has boobs and an ass to get an excuse she's at a healthy weight. So that means I'm fatter than her. Of course I am. And uglier.