feeling totally shite

Okay so I've forgotten that sugar keeps me awake so here i am 2.3 am in the morning feeling totally shite! I have again re-visited bingeing before Bed and it's completely stupid, annoying and fattening and sleep depriving. It's doing nothing for my esteem mood or anything else and I'm craving to be skinny like nothing else. Its dominating my thoughts and yet my actions dno't do anything about it - what is my problem! I'm totally frustrated at my lack of ability to diet and not binge and I'm concerned that maybe i'm coming down with the happy little bloody depression thing again. I'm agitated when I deprive myself from a binge and then when I do this I have a binge afterwards to ease it up. Bah!!!! Not in a good place right now. I'm not winning.