Feeling tired.......
Well, I've been back to work for five weeks now. Had my MI 7 weeks ago. I'm tired. I've phased it in and I'm doing 10 until 5 . The doctor won't let me go back to work full hours because they're concerned about the panic attacks. Full time is 9 til 5. They've given me a certificate with a caveat on it so I can go home when I need but there's so much to do!
I don't take work home any more. I leave that there and of course, I can't do the hours. I'm concentrating on relaxing and trying to get over my panic disorder. I'm a lot better now. I go for three days without meds but then it'll start getting a grip and I'm on that bloody roller coaster. So I take a tablet to get a grip. I need to get through the day and I haven't told my colleagues about it. No need. They've had enough worrying about my HA let alone my potty mind.
It'll get better. It needs to. I need to function and I'm getting heartily sick of it. And the thing is, anxiety causes chest pain and, as a HA survivor, I need that like a hole in the head.
Its funny. If I start getting that familiar "flip flop" in the car, I start shouting at myself to straighten up. People must think I'm mad. You've got to laugh.....
I don't take work home any more. I leave that there and of course, I can't do the hours. I'm concentrating on relaxing and trying to get over my panic disorder. I'm a lot better now. I go for three days without meds but then it'll start getting a grip and I'm on that bloody roller coaster. So I take a tablet to get a grip. I need to get through the day and I haven't told my colleagues about it. No need. They've had enough worrying about my HA let alone my potty mind.
It'll get better. It needs to. I need to function and I'm getting heartily sick of it. And the thing is, anxiety causes chest pain and, as a HA survivor, I need that like a hole in the head.
Its funny. If I start getting that familiar "flip flop" in the car, I start shouting at myself to straighten up. People must think I'm mad. You've got to laugh.....
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