feeling sorry for myself

Maybe I am depressed.  I can't seem to get motivated to do anything.  I've been exercising - but not enough.  Got a call from school again -they tried my husband but he wasn't available.  T-Man was sick and wanted to come home.  I wasn't available to pick him up and couldn't for another few hours.  I told the attendance woman that he can't come home.  He said he'd walk.  I told both of them if he's too sick to be in school, he's too sick to walk the 2 miles to our home.  The attendance lady suggested that she contact the assistant principal and let him handle it.  I hope he manages to keep him there. T has been known to leave anyway.  Chances are he will.  Whatever.   Motivation?  I am not even interested in my advocacy stuff.  I am still trying to let go of the Principal's behavior.  I know he HATES having to be at those depressing depression meetings.  He's heard it all and probably isn't happy with the low turn out.  It's very understandable but does he have to be so transparent?  He is the hero that's behind all of the fundraising for the athletic association and for the new turf (which costs mega $$$) and works very hard at it.  I think it's a very good thing that he is passionate about it and rallies people around him to join in.  My husband has been very involved and got the community soccer club, and as President of the community soccer club, he was responsible for the club donating a significant $ of money for the new turf.  Last Saturday night we were at the Night at The Races that supports the athletic assoc. that none of our son's are a part of anymore.  This weekend is another event that will include lots of manpower for another fundraiser - for the fields.  My husband (who just earned "Citizen of the Year") in our community volunteered both of us to help out.  It's on a Saturday night for goodness sake.  The thought of being around those perfect parents with their perfect children and the Principal who raves about them for their efforts in a very public way (he doesn't have to be reminded) I just can't stomach it.  I am not attending.  I don't care if they are expecting me or not.  Can ya tell I'm a bit bitter?  Just heard from the assistant principal (who is normal and I like a lot) called me.  He told me that T went A WOL.  I am not surprised.  The AP said he was going to try and track him down.  We have a feeling we where they went.  They went to one of the boys' house because the mom isn't home.  Not sure what is going to come of it.  I put a call into his assigned counselor and, as always, ignores what I say, basically, cutting me off to confirm the time he's going to be at our house.  I don't know why I asked him if I should call T's PO because the counselor  isn't very helpful.  I concluded I would and I am glad I did.  He wants to meet as a group next week.  What that is going to accomplish - I don't know- but - at least this behavior is going to be addressed.   I am not really down about T - but about myself.  I hate focusing on myself because that makes me feel even worse, sometimes.  At first I was blaming my "funk" on hormones but that can't be the case today or the last few days.  Just having a pity party and I know I will come out of this and again have a positive attitude about everything.  It's difficult to think about work - job - whatever when I'm down.  I do know, however, that a job that I like will pick me up.  I wouldn't' have time to fester.  Lack of sunshine may be the reason....  Oh....the sun just came out.  I think I will sit by a window and soak up the rays.  Can't go outside - this morning the temps were below zero.  No wonder I'm in a funk!