Feeling so out of sorts.
It has just been 1 of those days/weeks,he is being so out of hand lately,I cant even stand to talk to him.....My boss at work came back from vacation today,and is no better than when he left,things are not moving quick enough,money is not coming in soon enough,still hearing it from my family and my friends "Are you sure you want a divorce?" YES DAMNIT I am sure,why i ask them cant you just support me in this,just be there to listen,and if i want your opinion i will ask for it......I feel like I am being pulled in 10 different directions,and no one is listening...........I really just wanna jump in my car and drive anywhere and keep driving,just to get away from all of this,but thats just my coward side talking.........just one of those days.
Replies
Oh, No, Fay you are not a coward, it\'s the side of you telling you to move on, or get out. LIke I said in the past, a strong answer will come to you -- one day.
It took me 3 times to finally leave and the last time I knew this was it, it felt like a Stronger feeling than before.
Yes, I had financial problems too. I slept on the couch for a couple of months to pay bills off and separate them and save for rent to get out. But this last time was final in my mind.
Each of the times prior to finally leaving, I knew it wasn\'t going to work but tried and of course I thought he would change. There was no sign of him trying to change. The timing was strange but told him on christmas eve -- it felt good.
I felt like I was free in my mind too. THAT IS THE OTHER FEELING YOU GET when it is finalized in your mind -- like a sense of peace because you are no longer in limbo anymore.
Things cannot change or improve without counseling and that\'s what we lacked as may be the same thing you R going thru.
Hang in there girl.
Take care
I am seeing my therapist friday,which gee that cant come soon enough,its just such a struggle somedays,why is it everyone can come to me with their problems,but yet i cant go to them or i can and they poo poo it like its no big deal....hence the getting in the car and driving thing,I know that what i am doing is the right thing,just sticking to my guns is hard somedays,things have got to change,my only hope is sooner rather than later. Thanks again energy.
I often got in my car when he was here, pre-divorce and just drove at night, listening to cd\'s. It helped me and I was then alone with my brain! But there is the gas issue and spending money on that, but if you can do it, maybe a good idea! Hang in there, at times it seems that you are alone, but you are not..
Thanks MsTerey.