Feeling sick again

Facebook has this "People You May Know" feature or something like that.....and who shows up?  His wife- both of them actually in the pic.  Apparently we have a friend in common.  I'm going to defriend him and hope that she doesnt show up again.  It looks like it could be their wedding picture.  And she's really pretty.  She's prettier than me of course.  And I'm thinking it's probably their anniversary and that's why he can't come over tonite.
I'm feeling nauseous.
I remember when he told me a few years ago that they were getting married and having their first kid and how broken my heart was and I begged him not to contact me again.  I needed him to let me go.  I still need him to let me go.  Why won't he?  Why can't I do it?  
And then I remember when we were in that horrible hotel and he told me he was having kid #2.  I was broken again.  It's a reminder that I'm not the only person he's having sex with, but it's also a reminder that I am not the person he chose to be with.  I will forever feel like I wasn't good enough for him.  And I will never be.  And my heart hurts.  I hate this.
This needs to be the year.  I need to make a plan to move on with my life.  As much for him as for me.