Feeling on the edge

Feeling sensitive today. I saw my psych nurse the other day and she wanted to know everything. Its hard talking about things that should be dead and buried.  Each little word like a fresh wound.  Im gonna go out of this world with a bang. My last day will be remembered, Havent worked out how yet but the end will come, dont know how long I can hold on. I want to hold on but every little bit of happiness gets snatched away by some big fuck up in my life. Cant let it happen anymore, gotta block out the happy, because the crash afterwards is way more intense. Oh look shes happy again, lets throw a razor in the works. Only one way to stop the razors is ceasing to exist