Feeling okay today
Hello SOTH - I spent this past Easter Week-end with my grandson and my ex-husband's family who Hunter is living with. It's always such a bitter sweet time as I enjoy this family so much and of course spending time with Hunter is priceless. I saw my daughter every where I turned - pictures on their walls, frames on the tables all have pictures of my daughter as she grew up - she was well loved even though she just never knew how much. Hunter is doing good - with weekly counseling and much love from family and lots of support he is learning to travel this road of grief without his mother and as we all know will be a lifetime. I was able to spend time with him and we were finally able to talk about how much we missed his mom. He is living about 300 miles away so leaving was and is hard but I am so blessed because he is in the exact spot that my daughter wanted him to be so I know she's watching over him.
Everyday is a struggle in one way or another - some days have tears, some days I'm numb, some days I'm still in disbelief, some days I remember something that makes me smile and some days I look up and say WHY? WHY?...Coming home today, sitting here on this site, I find comfort, support and the empty feeling I'm feeling now will be helped by you all out there who know and understand. It has been Six months this week that I haven't talked to my daughter - never ever thought I could ever go that long and not talk to her.....never thought I could survive. I miss her every minute of everyday-- I love you Jennifer and your mom is missing you so so much!
Everyday is a struggle in one way or another - some days have tears, some days I'm numb, some days I'm still in disbelief, some days I remember something that makes me smile and some days I look up and say WHY? WHY?...Coming home today, sitting here on this site, I find comfort, support and the empty feeling I'm feeling now will be helped by you all out there who know and understand. It has been Six months this week that I haven't talked to my daughter - never ever thought I could ever go that long and not talk to her.....never thought I could survive. I miss her every minute of everyday-- I love you Jennifer and your mom is missing you so so much!
Replies
I am glad you had a wonderful Easter weekend visit.
Peace.
seeing all those pics on the wall,,, how cool...so glad you had a nice easter visit.. love ya!!
Those visits are to be cherished for sure. I wish you so many more! lauri
Thank goodness for the visits and pauses from all the heartache if even for just a few moments. It feels as if your Easter visit was just what you needed to fill you.
It is very difficult to imagine being without our beloved children and learning new ways of being in relationship becomes our new reality. These wise and compassionate women have been helping me with that and I\'m still learning as it\'s a work in progress indeed.
Heartfelt hugs,
XO Joanie
Oh how I understand. I still am taken aback when I realize I can\'t pick up the phone and hear Lisa\'s voice say \"Hi Mummy!\" Life is not fair.
I am so glad to hear that your grandson is just where he needs to be. I agree; your daughter is watching over him.
Take care of you.
Love to you and Jennifer,
Marlene
Isn\'t it wonderful to know how much Jennifer IS loved...I experience the same thing when I go to my Jenns in laws...they love her and miss her as much as I do
I,am glad your Easter was nice. I lost my daughter to 10 years ago now. But my whole family is dead and she was my only
I ACIDENTLY HIT THE ADD COMMENT. BUT I DON,T LIKE ANY HOLIDAYS ANY MORE I JUST FEEL EMPTY AND ALONE. I HAVE A HUSBAND 4TH ONE. AND 2 rOTTWELERS. BLESS YOUR SPECIAL ANGEL HUGS MARY ANN
Such good news to hear that Hunter is doing well and right where his mom wanted him. He will heal within this protectiin and love from you and all his extended family. He has you to talk to and remember his mom with.
I know what you mean. The reality of not hearing my son\'s voice on the other end of the phone or to just visit with him is so hard to wrap my head around.
It takes time, prayers, faith and love to heal and reach some level of acceptance. Just know you are not alone on this journey. Love to you and dear Jennifer, Linda