Feeling Numb Again
Christmas day has passed. It was a mixture of calm and pain. Spent it at Ray and Shel's house. They did a wonderful job making things festive. Putting together a gingerbread train with my grand daughter was much fun. We made a mess but managed to get it done and it looked pretty good.
Spent Sunday with my sister. We went to church then to Stanford's for brunch. I had a $50 gift card. I received it from the radio station Shel works for after contributing to the local homeless shelter through their charity show. Pretty nice as it represented 1/2 of my donation.
I am glad "The Day" is passed but it has left me feeling somewhat numb again and very lonely. Maybe it is because (in my mind) I felt like when Christmas has passed things will get a little easier. Not so. I have so many things I want to do: re-organizing, taking care of some legal things, deciding what social events I will participate in (or not) etc. etc., yet not wanting to start any of it.
I kind of feel as though I have been suddenly dropped into a world that I don't know and am yearning to go back home!
New Years Eve our church will have what is called a "burning bowl" ceremony. It is where you place things from the previous year you want to move on from. I will place my desire to move on without fear and leave behind the quilt that I could have done more to safe my dear Clyde's life.
Another step in a grueling process.
Spent Sunday with my sister. We went to church then to Stanford's for brunch. I had a $50 gift card. I received it from the radio station Shel works for after contributing to the local homeless shelter through their charity show. Pretty nice as it represented 1/2 of my donation.
I am glad "The Day" is passed but it has left me feeling somewhat numb again and very lonely. Maybe it is because (in my mind) I felt like when Christmas has passed things will get a little easier. Not so. I have so many things I want to do: re-organizing, taking care of some legal things, deciding what social events I will participate in (or not) etc. etc., yet not wanting to start any of it.
I kind of feel as though I have been suddenly dropped into a world that I don't know and am yearning to go back home!
New Years Eve our church will have what is called a "burning bowl" ceremony. It is where you place things from the previous year you want to move on from. I will place my desire to move on without fear and leave behind the quilt that I could have done more to safe my dear Clyde's life.
Another step in a grueling process.
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